[If heartbreak has an emotion, Mitsuki will feel it full force from Albert the moment he pulls away. Yet that resignation is back on his face, and he manages a smile, as dead and fake and distant as the day they met.]
No. Of course not. In your position, I don't think I'd know what to think, either.
[Somehow, his hands steady, and he moves to open the water. But after a moment's thought, he offers it to Mitsuki instead. It's unopened, still.]
I was selfish. I know. Even that much was a sin in its own right. I thought... [His voice cracks, but he barrels through.] ...I thought of my own happiness before I thought of the impact the truth might have on you. By the time I realized how foolish I was, I... [He loved him. He loved him desperately, deeply, with every last shred of his dignity, with all the ferocity of a heart that's been mended in a man who's learning to live a new life.] ...I was too attached. I didn't want to let go of you.
[He looks at the wall, staring blankly ahead now.]
That isn't who I am now, but I can't erase my past. I can't bring any of them back. I am... what I created. [Albert closes his eyes, fighting back the tightness he feels in his throat.] And I am deeply, utterly sorry to have disappointed you, and to have exposed you to someone so unforgivable.
[He wants to tell him he loves him. That he's changed because of him. That Mitsuki alone made him believe he didn't need to harm anyone ever again. That his soul has been salvaged by this beautiful, bright, remarkable man.
But that's... selfish, too. He knows it is. He knows it would sound like begging, or perhaps manipulation, because he's all too skilled at that. He'd rather Mitsuki make up his own mind about things.
It will be lonely without him. He feels he'll lose hope entirely. But maybe that's for the best. He didn't deserve hope to begin with, after all.]
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No. Of course not. In your position, I don't think I'd know what to think, either.
[Somehow, his hands steady, and he moves to open the water. But after a moment's thought, he offers it to Mitsuki instead. It's unopened, still.]
I was selfish. I know. Even that much was a sin in its own right. I thought... [His voice cracks, but he barrels through.] ...I thought of my own happiness before I thought of the impact the truth might have on you. By the time I realized how foolish I was, I... [He loved him. He loved him desperately, deeply, with every last shred of his dignity, with all the ferocity of a heart that's been mended in a man who's learning to live a new life.] ...I was too attached. I didn't want to let go of you.
[He looks at the wall, staring blankly ahead now.]
That isn't who I am now, but I can't erase my past. I can't bring any of them back. I am... what I created. [Albert closes his eyes, fighting back the tightness he feels in his throat.] And I am deeply, utterly sorry to have disappointed you, and to have exposed you to someone so unforgivable.
[He wants to tell him he loves him. That he's changed because of him. That Mitsuki alone made him believe he didn't need to harm anyone ever again. That his soul has been salvaged by this beautiful, bright, remarkable man.
But that's... selfish, too. He knows it is. He knows it would sound like begging, or perhaps manipulation, because he's all too skilled at that. He'd rather Mitsuki make up his own mind about things.
It will be lonely without him. He feels he'll lose hope entirely. But maybe that's for the best. He didn't deserve hope to begin with, after all.]