[He comes off as tense at close distance, though he melts forward into the hold and the kiss.
He wonders briefly in silence where to begin, then decides that cutting straight to the point is probably the best route. So, with a meaningless little ghost of a smile, he looks around the room. Maybe he can find something to clean. Something to make him stop thinking about...]
Mitsuki and I are... [His focus snaps back to Ignis.] Well, I suppose we broke things off? It may be temporary. I have no idea, but I won't be surprised if he never comes anywhere near me again.
[ he doesn't miss the tension in his shoulders, the pain that emanates from him, heartbreaking and profound. he hurts for him, and even though ignis isn't surprised by any of this, he's dismayed together with him.
he reaches out to take him into his arms with a soft sigh. ]
I'm sorry, my darling. He found out what you do, I imagine.
[Has he been kidding himself all along, thinking that somehow good deeds here absolve him of monstrosity before? No... he never really thought that, but... maybe he hoped it was true.]
My apologies. I know I should accept things as they are and move on. He was always too good to be with me, wasn't he? Too pure.
ignis says nothing at that correction, only nods -- in all his months of knowing and loving this man, he understands that stubborn, unrelenting capacity for kindness, the ruthlessness that is steeped within his psyche.
he cups his cheek, gentle, because now is probably not the time to talk about how likely it is for him to stop doing what he does for the sake of the country. is it monstrous? perhaps, but they all have to pay a price for kingdom and crown, and ignis, as hand of the king, understands that better than anyone else.
he shakes his head. ]
Albert. You did what you had to do out of necessity. That you feel a tremendous amount of guilt for it sets you apart from the monsters you once hunted. There is no one who is too good or pure for you; I'm sure Mitsuki wouldn't want you to think of him that way as well.
[ he pauses. ]
But this is a lot to put on his shoulders. He's not like either one of us; the world he comes from does not require such dire measures. He will need time to understand.
[Albert closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch.]
And I know he needs time. I've given him that without question. It doesn't make me feel any less like I've ripped my own heart out and run it through.
[Even Albert's idealistic side knows this will pass, and that whatever will be will be, but he wishes accepting it didn't feel lile admitting defeat. Then again, he knows he doesn't have the capacity for love that someone who isn't a monster might have. He'll always have his past lurking, waiting for him to have a need to kill again.
Looking to Ignis again, he gently pulls the hand from his cheek and takes it into his own.]
If I could merely think myself out of sorrow, I never would have shed a drop of blood in my life. So I suppose I need my own time to come to terms with the consequences of my actions, too. At any rate, I'm terribly sorry for worrying you. I'll recover, and I haven't lost everything. I still have a lot of work to do here.
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no subject
[ ignis is clearly waiting for him, rising to his feet to take his coat, his hat, before pulling him in to press a soft kiss to his forehead. ]
You feel awful. What's wrong?
no subject
He wonders briefly in silence where to begin, then decides that cutting straight to the point is probably the best route. So, with a meaningless little ghost of a smile, he looks around the room. Maybe he can find something to clean. Something to make him stop thinking about...]
Mitsuki and I are... [His focus snaps back to Ignis.] Well, I suppose we broke things off? It may be temporary. I have no idea, but I won't be surprised if he never comes anywhere near me again.
no subject
[ he doesn't miss the tension in his shoulders, the pain that emanates from him, heartbreaking and profound. he hurts for him, and even though ignis isn't surprised by any of this, he's dismayed together with him.
he reaches out to take him into his arms with a soft sigh. ]
I'm sorry, my darling. He found out what you do, I imagine.
no subject
What I did.
[Has he been kidding himself all along, thinking that somehow good deeds here absolve him of monstrosity before? No... he never really thought that, but... maybe he hoped it was true.]
My apologies. I know I should accept things as they are and move on. He was always too good to be with me, wasn't he? Too pure.
no subject
ignis says nothing at that correction, only nods -- in all his months of knowing and loving this man, he understands that stubborn, unrelenting capacity for kindness, the ruthlessness that is steeped within his psyche.
he cups his cheek, gentle, because now is probably not the time to talk about how likely it is for him to stop doing what he does for the sake of the country. is it monstrous? perhaps, but they all have to pay a price for kingdom and crown, and ignis, as hand of the king, understands that better than anyone else.
he shakes his head. ]
Albert. You did what you had to do out of necessity. That you feel a tremendous amount of guilt for it sets you apart from the monsters you once hunted. There is no one who is too good or pure for you; I'm sure Mitsuki wouldn't want you to think of him that way as well.
[ he pauses. ]
But this is a lot to put on his shoulders. He's not like either one of us; the world he comes from does not require such dire measures. He will need time to understand.
no subject
[Albert closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch.]
And I know he needs time. I've given him that without question. It doesn't make me feel any less like I've ripped my own heart out and run it through.
[Even Albert's idealistic side knows this will pass, and that whatever will be will be, but he wishes accepting it didn't feel lile admitting defeat. Then again, he knows he doesn't have the capacity for love that someone who isn't a monster might have. He'll always have his past lurking, waiting for him to have a need to kill again.
Looking to Ignis again, he gently pulls the hand from his cheek and takes it into his own.]
If I could merely think myself out of sorrow, I never would have shed a drop of blood in my life. So I suppose I need my own time to come to terms with the consequences of my actions, too. At any rate, I'm terribly sorry for worrying you. I'll recover, and I haven't lost everything. I still have a lot of work to do here.