[ william's eyes widen briefly -- of all the things he had expected albert to say, it isn't this. but this is albert at his most raw, his most honest. instead of stepping away, however, he goes down on one knee by the side of his bed, reaching out to cup that handsome face. ]
You have not lost me, Albert.
[ even if william had ultimately wanted to choose his own death, to escape. even if he had lied to albert for years -- that it wouldn't be all of them destroying the moriarty name. he leans forward, brows knitting. ]
[Albert looks at him, or maybe through him, for a few moments, trying to find the words for what he wants to say. He can't, ultimately. His silence surely speaks volumes, though.]
Will, you know... you were my first love. I couldn't bear to lose you. I fear my very soul would shatter into a thousand pieces, and my heart would give up entirely.
[He closes his eyes.]
Come back to bed. Stay for a while, please.
[The last word is hoarse, pleading.]
I always thought I was prepared for loss, but we were so... infallible. I never learned how to grieve, did I?
[ william can read him, the things he doesn't say, even if there are no words for it. he wonders, then, if that was what happened -- that in william's absence, albert's heart had given up. after all, william's machinations were meant to absolve albert and louis of wrongdoing and bloodshed; that louis seems much more self-sufficient and independent now, polished, sturdy and commanding, points to a clear absence of albert, as well.
his brows knit as his chest tightens, and this time william doesn't hesitate as he rises and acquiesces, albert's words imprinted in his heart, his mind. first love, he had said, and he remembers the church, the first time they had met.
he regrets, now, the pain he will inevitably cause him. he says nothing as he joins him in bed, this time from the front as he climbs in, taking care to keep the covers properly over them both. he leans forward now, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, the first of a thousand quiet apologies. ]
We have never lost anyone that mattered.
[ he says quietly, acknowledging -- and how this first cut must be the deepest for him, the bitter taste of grief. he tucks himself into his brother's arms as his own comes to wind around him, sharing his own body heat, his comfort, the best way he knows how. william doesn't want to think about how he, too, will be gone from albert. ]
I love you. [ he nuzzles him, closing his eyes. ] I'm sorry.
[His breathing steadies as William climbs back into bed, and he holds him close, pushing thoughts of loss as far from his mind as he can.
He thinks fondly of all they've weathered together, of things that would have torn weaker, less dedicated men apart. He thinks of the first time he held William like this, the first time their lips met. He takes comfort in knowing that at least as long as he is here, he is whole.
No matter what is taken from him, surely William won't be. Fate can't possibly be that cruel.]
No. I'm the one who's sorry, Will. I'm worrying you. I love you more than words can say, as I long have and always shall.
[A hand brushes William's hair back for a moment as Albert looks deep into scarlet eyes.]
Thank you. For giving me this life. For making me strong enough to fight.
[ william says fondly, lovingly, his eyes warm as he regards him. they have been through the best and worst of times together -- if they are not brothers by blood, then they are by virtue of all they have endured, tightly bonded no matter what. he curls into his arms and wraps his own around albert. he's leaning up to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth, too.
william cannot promise that he will be with him forever, but he can promise him -- ]
I'll be here for you.
[ here, in this world, with this second chance given to him. ]
You gave Louis and I a second life, too. [ he nuzzles into him, wanting to offer what comfort he can, feeling the weight of his own heartache and pain. his hand comes to rest over his heart, and he meets his eyes. ]
And we have seen the best and worst of each other. Let me hold you tonight, dearest Albert.
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You have not lost me, Albert.
[ even if william had ultimately wanted to choose his own death, to escape. even if he had lied to albert for years -- that it wouldn't be all of them destroying the moriarty name. he leans forward, brows knitting. ]
My dear brother. I am still yours.
no subject
Will, you know... you were my first love. I couldn't bear to lose you. I fear my very soul would shatter into a thousand pieces, and my heart would give up entirely.
[He closes his eyes.]
Come back to bed. Stay for a while, please.
[The last word is hoarse, pleading.]
I always thought I was prepared for loss, but we were so... infallible. I never learned how to grieve, did I?
no subject
his brows knit as his chest tightens, and this time william doesn't hesitate as he rises and acquiesces, albert's words imprinted in his heart, his mind. first love, he had said, and he remembers the church, the first time they had met.
he regrets, now, the pain he will inevitably cause him. he says nothing as he joins him in bed, this time from the front as he climbs in, taking care to keep the covers properly over them both. he leans forward now, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, the first of a thousand quiet apologies. ]
We have never lost anyone that mattered.
[ he says quietly, acknowledging -- and how this first cut must be the deepest for him, the bitter taste of grief. he tucks himself into his brother's arms as his own comes to wind around him, sharing his own body heat, his comfort, the best way he knows how. william doesn't want to think about how he, too, will be gone from albert. ]
I love you. [ he nuzzles him, closing his eyes. ] I'm sorry.
no subject
He thinks fondly of all they've weathered together, of things that would have torn weaker, less dedicated men apart. He thinks of the first time he held William like this, the first time their lips met. He takes comfort in knowing that at least as long as he is here, he is whole.
No matter what is taken from him, surely William won't be. Fate can't possibly be that cruel.]
No. I'm the one who's sorry, Will. I'm worrying you. I love you more than words can say, as I long have and always shall.
[A hand brushes William's hair back for a moment as Albert looks deep into scarlet eyes.]
Thank you. For giving me this life. For making me strong enough to fight.
no subject
[ william says fondly, lovingly, his eyes warm as he regards him. they have been through the best and worst of times together -- if they are not brothers by blood, then they are by virtue of all they have endured, tightly bonded no matter what. he curls into his arms and wraps his own around albert. he's leaning up to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth, too.
william cannot promise that he will be with him forever, but he can promise him -- ]
I'll be here for you.
[ here, in this world, with this second chance given to him. ]
You gave Louis and I a second life, too. [ he nuzzles into him, wanting to offer what comfort he can, feeling the weight of his own heartache and pain. his hand comes to rest over his heart, and he meets his eyes. ]
And we have seen the best and worst of each other. Let me hold you tonight, dearest Albert.