[Albert is truly worried about whether Moran will judge him a coward by those words, whether he'll see him unfit to follow. Whether this is the end for the two of them, and the years they've spent by William's side.
It's... both better and much, much worse than that. He almost wishes Moran had hated him for it. He may be terrible at expressing his own emotions, but he's fairly adept at seeing what his words are doing to others.]
My hands are still stained. I'll live with what I've done, and I'll atone for it in my own time.
[He looks at Moran resolutely, then plants his hands on the man's shoulders.]
No one else needs to bear the burden of what I wished into the world. I still will never call on you to do something I wouldn't do myself.
[Though he won't speak for William. Moran and William's direct connection is none of his business. If William arrives, they can discuss things then. If William arrives, things will change. Albert will always live for his brother's plans and wishes.]
For now, we use our time wisely. We keep our skills sharp, of course. I'll ingratiate myself with the local population and the Gembonded and find my way into the political structure. If our usual way is the only way, I'll accept that. If William arrives and tells me otherwise, I'll accept that as well. For now... We must both be better. To give William half a chance, we need a foothold, and we have none of the advantages I had back in London.
[This means planning, working, focusing on accruing resources like money... Anything and everything Albert can do to build status.]
[ Moran doesn't acknowledge the hands that come to rest on his shoulders; he instead continues to stare carefully at Albert's face. He doesn't think that he'll be able to fully read him -- but then, he's rarely ever able to really read him. However, he wants the man known that he is, in some way, seeing him. ]
I suppose that it's fair that you won't, but I also won't let you walk down a path by yourself.
[ He decides that he should just say that outright in case Albert gets any other funny ideas in his head. ]
And I understand. I'll do what I can to gain a little more influence with people instead of just playing around. [ His reputation isn't all that bad, however, and seen more as a playful gunman of the past. But he supposes that it wouldn't be a terrible idea to figure out how to gain actual foothold with people. ]
I don't intend to use the people here, however. They're just as lost as we are, after all. I'm going to consider them more like friends in the wings... those that don't quite know what we're about... but will hopefully lend a hand in this and that.
[ Whatever "this" and "that" turn out to be, anyway. ]
When one starts something, one must finish it properly.
[Please. Moran doesn't know he thinks this, but Albert has no reason to throw him under a carriage, so to speak. Moran was dead in the eyes of the world. A dead man can't commit a crime. There's hundreds of ways he could leave Moran out of this if things went south. And he would. He'd take the entire thing on his own shoulders, and has long planned to get William to help him do so, should it come to it.
The dedication is beyond appreciated, even if Albert is certain it's loyalty to William and not care for Albert himself that moves Moran's compass.
The statements aren't a full de-escalation, but they're agreement enough to satisfy Albert. After all, he too was often only following William's plans and contributing rather than leading.]
No. We won't use any innocent people. This is going to be different. If we end up needing to tread the old path again, then we do. [There's a dullness to his gaze as he says that. Realizes that. Some things might not change.] But it will be the same as before, together. If I can somehow secure a place of influence without it... I'd rather we have a beautiful world to show William if he arrives.
[He falls silent, the moves his hands away to his sides.]
It sounds foolishly idealistic, doesn't it? I hate the sound of it all, if only because I don't know that it will work. I want to say that I tried, even if I fail.
[ Honestly, he doesn't understand why Albert wants to carry on the responsibility of everyone.
No, that's a lie. He understands it quite well. As someone who commanded his own people, he took any mistake that they did as his own; their actions were his actions; he held their lives as though they were his own. Their deaths, too, were his to avenge and for him to carry.
But that is in the past. He has finally given them a proper burial and a place to rest. So, the issue is really Albert who doesn't know where to bury any of them. And really, he shouldn't. Albert isn't their commander; they are all conspirators together and so, no one should have to fall alone. ]
Then... just say that... say that you want to have tried even if you end up failing. Ignore the fact that it sounds idealistic or stupid. There's no reason not to keep going forward with the belief that the world can be beautiful and like you want.
[ Moran doesn't know what weight that Albert has chosen to carry for himself, but in seeing some vulnerability that the man has, he's already decided that he'll handle carrying anything that his companion isn't able to. Perhaps, he'll attempt to carry it all without Albert realizing.
[Because it was Albert who started this, in his mind. Not William's desires, but Albert's enabling. Albert, who killed his family. Albert, who drew first blood. Albert, who asked for the impossible.
Somehow, Moran's insistence at least softens the edge he takes, and he seems to back down on the surface, though he blames himself still at his core. Maybe this is his attempt at atonement. It's not like he thinks he can make up for the lives he's responsible for ending, but he'll do what he can to prevent things from going so darkly again.
He studies Moran as he speaks, like he's looking for a crack, or a sign of insincerity. Seeing none, he relaxes faintly, then takes a seat back on the couch.]
At the very least, we will be able to say that we tried. Together, Colonel? I think even William would approve.
[He laughs faintly, a sarcastic little sound that's more sincere than he'll admit. All the tension is sapped from him now.]
He'd be pleased to see us working together, of course. I'll let that drive me, too. Though I do find you entertaining, even on the worst days.
[ The comment that Albert finds him entertaining even on the "worst of days." He lets out a sigh as he finally has to take a few steps back to sit down on the coffee table that he kicked. Moran crosses his leg over so that he can finally rub the top of his foot where he had struck the furniture. His adrenaline and fight gone; he finally can feel the pain.
Sucking in a breath, he rubs his head as all the yelling didn't do wonders for his hangover either. But he didn't have to vacate the room to vomit so he'll consider that a win all on its own.
Moran pauses in rubbing his sore foot to add something that he considers important: ]
No need to bring William up in this manner. This is something between us, right? Something that is actually between us and as equals. So, if you think that it's a good idea, then I think it's a good idea. It's really that simple, Albert.
[That when no one else can stir up his fire, he has Moran. To Albert, even if that fire is antagonism, it's a compliment. Moran is a safe place, an outlet he doesn't take for granted. He's a valued ally.
But now that the idea is out, he has to figure out how to implement it all. Money, a reputation... he'll have to work hard and he knows it. But it's what William would expect. Not demand, of course, but expect, because Albert is impossible to hold back. Impossible to dissuade. He'll do this.
Looking back to Moran after a brief silence, he smiles faintly.]
He's not even here. Right.
[That thought might cause Albert anxiety and relief in equal measures, but all he does is nod.]
Then that's what we'll do. Help me because you want to, because you think it's the right thing to do. Or... a reasonable path, at least.
[He puts out a hand and rests it on Moran's knee, fingertips curved. Sync is important, after all.]
Stay here until you feel better. I fear you'll take your mood out on someone less steady than myself.
[ Moran just turns his head to let out a soft peh sound at the question of it is hard to take a compliment.
The statement he made wasn't meant to do more than try to forge something between the two of them. Moran never considered himself to really be part of M16 even if he was given a title and occasionally uses the equipment. If he's called on a mission, he'll do one, but his connection has always been to the manor itself. ]
That was what I was planning on doing from the start. When you say things like this... it really makes me think that you didn't think I would be here if you needed me, Albert.
[ His tone isn't cutting or accusatory, but more concerned if he had to name it. It is at this moment that he thinks that he sees Albert as someone who stands alone. Without Louis or William, Albert has let himself be removed from the others that pledged their loyalty to their cause. It makes him --
-- he rests his hand down on the hand that's on his knee. ]
I suppose that's something to fear. [ His fingers curl around Albert's hand before he leans forward to place a soft kiss on the corner of the man's mouth. Syncing is important; his feelings are something he intends to give in more than a handshake and promised words.
[Albert's head is still in structure, in plans that can't come to fruition without William, and without reason. But the more they misunderstand each other here, the more he wants to understand, to communicate on a level that doesn't need anyone else as a buffer. To still make jokes and jibes, but to look squarely at Moran as the man he is, his loyalties unquestioned just as Albert has never doubted his capability. It never was just about William. He gets it.
And he gets, in small measure, that he isn't the monolith he makes himself out to be. He was always both on the inside and the outside of things, always waiting to be useful, always striving to make connections both social and mental that would benefit the cause. Thinking about himself, what he wants, what he sees in others besides that beneficial part of them that would serve William... He hasn't thought about that terribly seriously in years. There was never a need to. It was all training, preparing, and executing.
Well. He said he wanted it to be different. Now he has to walk the walk.
His eyes track Moran's movement as he covers his hand, then leans forward and--oh. Unexpected. But it reads exactly as intended, a wordless oath, a guarantee. Whatever path he goes down, he can expect Moran at his side. No matter how much they missed each other's meanings before, he's completely sure now that Moran is not only honest, but absolutely sincere.
Before he can pull away, Albert turns his hand over and takes Moran's, letting that be equal, too. For a lingering moment, he looks into those dark eyes, finding the right words don't come out immediately.]
I will never doubt you.
[Before he echoes the gesture by pressing his own lips to the corner of Moran's, as well. He finds he feels... oddly warm, more relaxed than even moments ago, and the feeling surprises him enough that he pulls back only slightly. Is that what proper Syncing feels like?
It's lovely enough to compel Albert to do it again, this time lingering.]
[ With the second kiss, it seems like they are agreed with one another. He can feel it in how he feels warm; in how he understands that the two of them are actually syncing with one another. ]
I'm sorry I gave you reason to doubt me. [ If they're going to be equals, if they're going to be on the same footing, then he can't let Albert be the only person that apologizes. He can't act like he did everything right and that the man did everything wrong to miss him. The two of them are too similar and so they weren't able to understand the sincerity that the other person showed.
[It's funny how the kiss seems vaguely symbolic to Albert in hindsight. It's a reassurance, now backed up with words, but to Albert it was as good as an oath instead. He can't help flashing the faint ghost of a sincere smile as he pulls back, looking to Moran's eyes.]
I wouldn't want to do it without you.
[And he means that, from the depths of what's left of his soul. Whether simply because Moran is an anchor for him here, or because he truly values their bond... that's up to Moran to decide for himself. Albert's actions will reveal all of that in time.]
Come sit with me. I'm going to need sizeable income here to get anything done.
[ Now that they understand one another; now that they are on even footing with one another. He feels like the issues of the past are just that. Moran is different than most that he can easily set aside problems he had with people after one conversation.
It is like how he could easily settle things with Bond. It's like how he could settle things with Moneypenny. He accepts their sincerity and forgives all else; all the anger that he feels is just not worth clinging onto.
All that in mind, he reaches to take hold of Albert's hand to pull him forward so that the man can come to sit on him. ]
Like this? [ Because now that they are understanding one another, there is no reason why he won't needle or tease as friends do. ]
[Albert is the type to let things fester, but he takes Moran at face value in this and all things. The Moran he sees before him is a man who has let go of everything that held him back, in Albert's opinion.
He's glorious, in his own way, even if Albert would never tell him that.
Glorious. And pulling him off the couch. Albert could choose not to go, their strength isn't so disparate, but he only faintly cuts his eyes to the side before going with the grip to his hand and settling himself like an absolute menace with a knee on either side of Moran's thighs.
Are they playing chicken now?]
Well, whatever gets things done.
[He looks at Moran, leaning his face in close, daring him to back off.]
[ The coffee table beneath them did make an unfortunate squeaking sound before when he pulled Albert forward and onto his lap. His eyes couldn't help but give a slight glance to it -- but it doesn't seem like it is going to give underneath their weight. ]
Well, syncing with me is pretty easy, isn't it? I already have my shirt off, after all.
[ He tips his chin up, daring him to do anything else. Even if his foot still hurts, he isn't about to yield now that he's starting this game. It isn't one that they've played together before, but that was because they didn't feel close.
Moran actually feels like they've bridged a gap that neither realized was there. No, that was wrong. They both knew it was there, but acted like it wasn't. But with it gone, he could smile honestly at Albert and feel like he's being seen as a friend. ]
[He trusts the coffee table far less than he trusts Moran, but the man beneath him is solid and might be fine to land on should the worst happen. He'll just bill him in synchrony, of course.
And Moran is right. It's easy. Even as Albert's fingertips come to rest on that broad expanse of chest, he feels a warmth, a security coursing through him.]
I feel a touch overdressed. Should I make things even?
[Flirting? Teasing? Does it even work on Moran? Albert doesn't actually care, since he's simply being delicately antagonistic. If nothing else, he's enjoying this moment of unguarded ridiculousness, looking down at Moran with equal parts defiance and mirth while he flattens his palms against Moran's skin.]
There's still a dull throbbing, but it'll be fine.
[ All the yelling and coming down from it; he realizes that it seems silly but he feels better rather than worse for it. ]
But do you want to make things even? [ No, none of that really works on him. He reaches up to undo the top button of Albert's shirt. ] I was thinking that, perhaps, you were feeling a little restrained.
[He does his best to hide his amusement as Moran makes a brief show of unbuttoning that button. He'll admit that compared to most people here, he is apparently excessively put together. It's best to just enjoy the freedom it brings, rather than resisting the atmosphere of the place.]
I feel like a new man, of course. All thanks to you. However will I repay you?
[What if he just... moves his hands up Moran's chest and shoulders, and drapes over him with linked hands in his hair? What's his limit?]
[ Moran breathes in sharp through his nose. It is because he is also attempting to keep himself from laughing. His lips have to be pressed in a thin line when Albert drapes himself over him. Still, for all the amusement that he feels, there is also a steady feeling that they are syncing with one another. ]
Are you offering more, my lord?
[ His words shake just a little as he huffs a laugh against Albert's hair. It seems like they're understanding one another. His arms lightly come around to wrap around the man in his lap. He feels his shoulders drop as he rests his head against Albert's.
There's something comforting in being able to hold him like this, even if it is all a joke. It may be because Albert has never allowed himself to be held by anyone -- figuratively or literally. ]
[The moment he realizes how amused Moran is, Albert lets his shoulders relax, almost shaking with the effort of not letting out a sincere laugh. He feels the synchrony, and it doesn't feel bad in the least.
It feels even better when he's embraced, and their heads meet. Maybe he's waited too long to let someone hold him like this.]
You're really going to call me that...
[He can't even finish the sentence without laughing out loud.]
[ He starts to laugh a little himself; his shoulders shaking as he lets out a few puffs of air. ]
You really do know how to make things unreasonably difficult, Albert.
[ His tone of voice isn't admonishing or hateful, however. It's more tired resignation. He accepts this part of the man that he's been with; he accepts it completely. After all, William may have been the one to save him, but Albert is the one who knew of his existence in the first place.
Without that knowledge, without knowing he was drifting as some half-dead creature, would he have been eventually found and saved?
[Albert can't put to words how this place makes him feel, or how it's very quickly changed his outlook just enough that he feels like he's a human being for the first time in years. That may be blind, desperate optimism that isn't his usual, or it might be lasting change. He doesn't know. But as long as this feeling of relief lasts, he'll chase it.
He knows Moran is good for him, always has known since the day they met. Still, the thought of him ever having overcome his self-imposed emotional prison back home is almost as laughable as their antics.]
Could have, if I wasn't so proud?
[He turns his head and rests his cheek on Moran's shoulder. It wouldn't be them if they weren't trying to one up each other.]
[ Indeed, it wouldn't be them if they weren't trying to one up each other. ]
I suppose not.
[ Moran's willing to admit that his own pride got in the way of settling things properly with Albert. But he also naively thought that the man knew just how close he felt that they all were. Or maybe, it is just that he did not feel he had any right to break down the walls that Albert had placed around him; maybe it is more that he thought Albert did not yet consider him close enough to attempt to tear them down. ]
[He didn't want to be close to anyone. He wanted his safe buffer, he wanted to never let anyone in lest they be caught up in all his intrigues even worse. There were people--like Moran--who he quietly considered as close to true friends as he could get, but many many more who he kept at a distance for every reason. And even those he let get marginally close were still treated more coldly than perhaps he ought to have.]
A favor, Colonel. Next time... only be considerate if it benefits me to do so.
[I trust your judgement.
No one's here to keep him from caving in on himself should things be revealed somehow, nor to keep him from pushing everyone away. Without the warmth of his brothers, he might be adrift if the worst occurs.]
I'll be as open with you as I can, about things that matter.
[ Moran lets out a soft hum in response to Albert agreeing that it was mostly his own fault. Something about that doesn't quite sits well with him, but he isn't quite sure what it is. Could it be that he didn't like that the man liked to take responsibility too easily? Even in a moment of when they are reconciling with one another?
His chin lifts a little, the gesture enough for Albert to feel with him resting his head on his shoulder. ]
Only if it benefits you, huh?
[ He pauses. ]
What about the things that don't matter? What about the thoughts you keep to yourself because you do not think they are important enough to share? [ A slight beat follows. ] Are you willing to share those with me, too?
[Albert laughs faintly. Things that don't matter? Things like... money or acquaintances? Plans? Feelings? Where does he draw the line? Albert is by his carefully built nature extremely conservative with what he openly shares, secretive and almost solitary. He thinks himself less than among his brothers, even if he isn't by any means. He certainly can't tell Moran that.
It calls for a judicious response.]
If you ask, of course. [But he should clarify.] I can't guarantee I'll know what's important to you yet. Will you... [This is. Disturbingly vulnerable, but he's going for it.] ...give me the chance to learn?
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no subject
It's... both better and much, much worse than that. He almost wishes Moran had hated him for it. He may be terrible at expressing his own emotions, but he's fairly adept at seeing what his words are doing to others.]
My hands are still stained. I'll live with what I've done, and I'll atone for it in my own time.
[He looks at Moran resolutely, then plants his hands on the man's shoulders.]
No one else needs to bear the burden of what I wished into the world. I still will never call on you to do something I wouldn't do myself.
[Though he won't speak for William. Moran and William's direct connection is none of his business. If William arrives, they can discuss things then. If William arrives, things will change. Albert will always live for his brother's plans and wishes.]
For now, we use our time wisely. We keep our skills sharp, of course. I'll ingratiate myself with the local population and the Gembonded and find my way into the political structure. If our usual way is the only way, I'll accept that. If William arrives and tells me otherwise, I'll accept that as well. For now... We must both be better. To give William half a chance, we need a foothold, and we have none of the advantages I had back in London.
[This means planning, working, focusing on accruing resources like money... Anything and everything Albert can do to build status.]
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[ Moran doesn't acknowledge the hands that come to rest on his shoulders; he instead continues to stare carefully at Albert's face. He doesn't think that he'll be able to fully read him -- but then, he's rarely ever able to really read him. However, he wants the man known that he is, in some way, seeing him. ]
I suppose that it's fair that you won't, but I also won't let you walk down a path by yourself.
[ He decides that he should just say that outright in case Albert gets any other funny ideas in his head. ]
And I understand. I'll do what I can to gain a little more influence with people instead of just playing around. [ His reputation isn't all that bad, however, and seen more as a playful gunman of the past. But he supposes that it wouldn't be a terrible idea to figure out how to gain actual foothold with people. ]
I don't intend to use the people here, however. They're just as lost as we are, after all. I'm going to consider them more like friends in the wings... those that don't quite know what we're about... but will hopefully lend a hand in this and that.
[ Whatever "this" and "that" turn out to be, anyway. ]
no subject
[Please. Moran doesn't know he thinks this, but Albert has no reason to throw him under a carriage, so to speak. Moran was dead in the eyes of the world. A dead man can't commit a crime. There's hundreds of ways he could leave Moran out of this if things went south. And he would. He'd take the entire thing on his own shoulders, and has long planned to get William to help him do so, should it come to it.
The dedication is beyond appreciated, even if Albert is certain it's loyalty to William and not care for Albert himself that moves Moran's compass.
The statements aren't a full de-escalation, but they're agreement enough to satisfy Albert. After all, he too was often only following William's plans and contributing rather than leading.]
No. We won't use any innocent people. This is going to be different. If we end up needing to tread the old path again, then we do. [There's a dullness to his gaze as he says that. Realizes that. Some things might not change.] But it will be the same as before, together. If I can somehow secure a place of influence without it... I'd rather we have a beautiful world to show William if he arrives.
[He falls silent, the moves his hands away to his sides.]
It sounds foolishly idealistic, doesn't it? I hate the sound of it all, if only because I don't know that it will work. I want to say that I tried, even if I fail.
no subject
[ Honestly, he doesn't understand why Albert wants to carry on the responsibility of everyone.
No, that's a lie. He understands it quite well. As someone who commanded his own people, he took any mistake that they did as his own; their actions were his actions; he held their lives as though they were his own. Their deaths, too, were his to avenge and for him to carry.
But that is in the past. He has finally given them a proper burial and a place to rest. So, the issue is really Albert who doesn't know where to bury any of them. And really, he shouldn't. Albert isn't their commander; they are all conspirators together and so, no one should have to fall alone. ]
Then... just say that... say that you want to have tried even if you end up failing. Ignore the fact that it sounds idealistic or stupid. There's no reason not to keep going forward with the belief that the world can be beautiful and like you want.
[ Moran doesn't know what weight that Albert has chosen to carry for himself, but in seeing some vulnerability that the man has, he's already decided that he'll handle carrying anything that his companion isn't able to. Perhaps, he'll attempt to carry it all without Albert realizing.
He'll see how far he gets with that. ]
no subject
Somehow, Moran's insistence at least softens the edge he takes, and he seems to back down on the surface, though he blames himself still at his core. Maybe this is his attempt at atonement. It's not like he thinks he can make up for the lives he's responsible for ending, but he'll do what he can to prevent things from going so darkly again.
He studies Moran as he speaks, like he's looking for a crack, or a sign of insincerity. Seeing none, he relaxes faintly, then takes a seat back on the couch.]
At the very least, we will be able to say that we tried. Together, Colonel? I think even William would approve.
[He laughs faintly, a sarcastic little sound that's more sincere than he'll admit. All the tension is sapped from him now.]
He'd be pleased to see us working together, of course. I'll let that drive me, too. Though I do find you entertaining, even on the worst days.
no subject
[ The comment that Albert finds him entertaining even on the "worst of days." He lets out a sigh as he finally has to take a few steps back to sit down on the coffee table that he kicked. Moran crosses his leg over so that he can finally rub the top of his foot where he had struck the furniture. His adrenaline and fight gone; he finally can feel the pain.
Sucking in a breath, he rubs his head as all the yelling didn't do wonders for his hangover either. But he didn't have to vacate the room to vomit so he'll consider that a win all on its own.
Moran pauses in rubbing his sore foot to add something that he considers important: ]
No need to bring William up in this manner. This is something between us, right? Something that is actually between us and as equals. So, if you think that it's a good idea, then I think it's a good idea. It's really that simple, Albert.
no subject
[That when no one else can stir up his fire, he has Moran. To Albert, even if that fire is antagonism, it's a compliment. Moran is a safe place, an outlet he doesn't take for granted. He's a valued ally.
But now that the idea is out, he has to figure out how to implement it all. Money, a reputation... he'll have to work hard and he knows it. But it's what William would expect. Not demand, of course, but expect, because Albert is impossible to hold back. Impossible to dissuade. He'll do this.
Looking back to Moran after a brief silence, he smiles faintly.]
He's not even here. Right.
[That thought might cause Albert anxiety and relief in equal measures, but all he does is nod.]
Then that's what we'll do. Help me because you want to, because you think it's the right thing to do. Or... a reasonable path, at least.
[He puts out a hand and rests it on Moran's knee, fingertips curved. Sync is important, after all.]
Stay here until you feel better. I fear you'll take your mood out on someone less steady than myself.
no subject
The statement he made wasn't meant to do more than try to forge something between the two of them. Moran never considered himself to really be part of M16 even if he was given a title and occasionally uses the equipment. If he's called on a mission, he'll do one, but his connection has always been to the manor itself. ]
That was what I was planning on doing from the start. When you say things like this... it really makes me think that you didn't think I would be here if you needed me, Albert.
[ His tone isn't cutting or accusatory, but more concerned if he had to name it. It is at this moment that he thinks that he sees Albert as someone who stands alone. Without Louis or William, Albert has let himself be removed from the others that pledged their loyalty to their cause. It makes him --
-- he rests his hand down on the hand that's on his knee. ]
I suppose that's something to fear. [ His fingers curl around Albert's hand before he leans forward to place a soft kiss on the corner of the man's mouth. Syncing is important; his feelings are something he intends to give in more than a handshake and promised words.
I'm here for you, too. ]
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And he gets, in small measure, that he isn't the monolith he makes himself out to be. He was always both on the inside and the outside of things, always waiting to be useful, always striving to make connections both social and mental that would benefit the cause. Thinking about himself, what he wants, what he sees in others besides that beneficial part of them that would serve William... He hasn't thought about that terribly seriously in years. There was never a need to. It was all training, preparing, and executing.
Well. He said he wanted it to be different. Now he has to walk the walk.
His eyes track Moran's movement as he covers his hand, then leans forward and--oh. Unexpected. But it reads exactly as intended, a wordless oath, a guarantee. Whatever path he goes down, he can expect Moran at his side. No matter how much they missed each other's meanings before, he's completely sure now that Moran is not only honest, but absolutely sincere.
Before he can pull away, Albert turns his hand over and takes Moran's, letting that be equal, too. For a lingering moment, he looks into those dark eyes, finding the right words don't come out immediately.]
I will never doubt you.
[Before he echoes the gesture by pressing his own lips to the corner of Moran's, as well. He finds he feels... oddly warm, more relaxed than even moments ago, and the feeling surprises him enough that he pulls back only slightly. Is that what proper Syncing feels like?
It's lovely enough to compel Albert to do it again, this time lingering.]
no subject
[ With the second kiss, it seems like they are agreed with one another. He can feel it in how he feels warm; in how he understands that the two of them are actually syncing with one another. ]
I'm sorry I gave you reason to doubt me. [ If they're going to be equals, if they're going to be on the same footing, then he can't let Albert be the only person that apologizes. He can't act like he did everything right and that the man did everything wrong to miss him. The two of them are too similar and so they weren't able to understand the sincerity that the other person showed.
So, he decides to say it again, a little clear. ]
I'm with you, Albert.
no subject
I wouldn't want to do it without you.
[And he means that, from the depths of what's left of his soul. Whether simply because Moran is an anchor for him here, or because he truly values their bond... that's up to Moran to decide for himself. Albert's actions will reveal all of that in time.]
Come sit with me. I'm going to need sizeable income here to get anything done.
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It is like how he could easily settle things with Bond. It's like how he could settle things with Moneypenny. He accepts their sincerity and forgives all else; all the anger that he feels is just not worth clinging onto.
All that in mind, he reaches to take hold of Albert's hand to pull him forward so that the man can come to sit on him. ]
Like this? [ Because now that they are understanding one another, there is no reason why he won't needle or tease as friends do. ]
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He's glorious, in his own way, even if Albert would never tell him that.
Glorious. And pulling him off the couch. Albert could choose not to go, their strength isn't so disparate, but he only faintly cuts his eyes to the side before going with the grip to his hand and settling himself like an absolute menace with a knee on either side of Moran's thighs.
Are they playing chicken now?]
Well, whatever gets things done.
[He looks at Moran, leaning his face in close, daring him to back off.]
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[ The coffee table beneath them did make an unfortunate squeaking sound before when he pulled Albert forward and onto his lap. His eyes couldn't help but give a slight glance to it -- but it doesn't seem like it is going to give underneath their weight. ]
Well, syncing with me is pretty easy, isn't it? I already have my shirt off, after all.
[ He tips his chin up, daring him to do anything else. Even if his foot still hurts, he isn't about to yield now that he's starting this game. It isn't one that they've played together before, but that was because they didn't feel close.
Moran actually feels like they've bridged a gap that neither realized was there. No, that was wrong. They both knew it was there, but acted like it wasn't. But with it gone, he could smile honestly at Albert and feel like he's being seen as a friend. ]
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[He trusts the coffee table far less than he trusts Moran, but the man beneath him is solid and might be fine to land on should the worst happen. He'll just bill him in synchrony, of course.
And Moran is right. It's easy. Even as Albert's fingertips come to rest on that broad expanse of chest, he feels a warmth, a security coursing through him.]
I feel a touch overdressed. Should I make things even?
[Flirting? Teasing? Does it even work on Moran? Albert doesn't actually care, since he's simply being delicately antagonistic. If nothing else, he's enjoying this moment of unguarded ridiculousness, looking down at Moran with equal parts defiance and mirth while he flattens his palms against Moran's skin.]
Your head is feeling better, I take it.
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[ All the yelling and coming down from it; he realizes that it seems silly but he feels better rather than worse for it. ]
But do you want to make things even? [ No, none of that really works on him. He reaches up to undo the top button of Albert's shirt. ] I was thinking that, perhaps, you were feeling a little restrained.
[ HOW SCANDALOUS. ]
Feeling a little freer?
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I feel like a new man, of course. All thanks to you. However will I repay you?
[What if he just... moves his hands up Moran's chest and shoulders, and drapes over him with linked hands in his hair? What's his limit?]
My hospitality isn't enough, is it?
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Are you offering more, my lord?
[ His words shake just a little as he huffs a laugh against Albert's hair. It seems like they're understanding one another. His arms lightly come around to wrap around the man in his lap. He feels his shoulders drop as he rests his head against Albert's.
There's something comforting in being able to hold him like this, even if it is all a joke. It may be because Albert has never allowed himself to be held by anyone -- figuratively or literally. ]
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It feels even better when he's embraced, and their heads meet. Maybe he's waited too long to let someone hold him like this.]
You're really going to call me that...
[He can't even finish the sentence without laughing out loud.]
...when it's just the two of us?
[Nope, losing it, albeit quietly.]
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You really do know how to make things unreasonably difficult, Albert.
[ His tone of voice isn't admonishing or hateful, however. It's more tired resignation. He accepts this part of the man that he's been with; he accepts it completely. After all, William may have been the one to save him, but Albert is the one who knew of his existence in the first place.
Without that knowledge, without knowing he was drifting as some half-dead creature, would he have been eventually found and saved?
But instead of saying any of that, he says: ]
We could have been like this sooner, you know.
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He knows Moran is good for him, always has known since the day they met. Still, the thought of him ever having overcome his self-imposed emotional prison back home is almost as laughable as their antics.]
Could have, if I wasn't so proud?
[He turns his head and rests his cheek on Moran's shoulder. It wouldn't be them if they weren't trying to one up each other.]
You're absolutely not one to talk.
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[ Indeed, it wouldn't be them if they weren't trying to one up each other. ]
I suppose not.
[ Moran's willing to admit that his own pride got in the way of settling things properly with Albert. But he also naively thought that the man knew just how close he felt that they all were. Or maybe, it is just that he did not feel he had any right to break down the walls that Albert had placed around him; maybe it is more that he thought Albert did not yet consider him close enough to attempt to tear them down. ]
I suppose I'm just too considerate of you.
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[He didn't want to be close to anyone. He wanted his safe buffer, he wanted to never let anyone in lest they be caught up in all his intrigues even worse. There were people--like Moran--who he quietly considered as close to true friends as he could get, but many many more who he kept at a distance for every reason. And even those he let get marginally close were still treated more coldly than perhaps he ought to have.]
A favor, Colonel. Next time... only be considerate if it benefits me to do so.
[I trust your judgement.
No one's here to keep him from caving in on himself should things be revealed somehow, nor to keep him from pushing everyone away. Without the warmth of his brothers, he might be adrift if the worst occurs.]
I'll be as open with you as I can, about things that matter.
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His chin lifts a little, the gesture enough for Albert to feel with him resting his head on his shoulder. ]
Only if it benefits you, huh?
[ He pauses. ]
What about the things that don't matter? What about the thoughts you keep to yourself because you do not think they are important enough to share? [ A slight beat follows. ] Are you willing to share those with me, too?
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It calls for a judicious response.]
If you ask, of course. [But he should clarify.] I can't guarantee I'll know what's important to you yet. Will you... [This is. Disturbingly vulnerable, but he's going for it.] ...give me the chance to learn?
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