[He loves Mitsuki. With all of his heart and soul, with every salvageable part of him, he loves Mitsuki. He fell so hard and so quickly, and he regrets none of it.]
There was never a good time to tell you the truth, and I didn't want you to despise me. I didn't set out to win your heart. But the every time you laughed, or smiled, or scolded me... I felt lighter. I felt human.
[He smiles, painfully and gently, the bond between them overflowing with sentiment that holds steady, true as Albert's faith in Mitsuki.]
I'm so glad I fell for you, and that you found it in yourself to allow me to court you. To know that someone as remarkable as you can love someone like me, and... to know that you have seen me at my best, me being the man I wish to be and not the one whose hand was forced... And God knows I do plan to love you until the very end.
[If Albert somehow leaves this place, he will leave Mitsuki knowing he was treasured above all else. And should Mitsuki leave, he'll send every bit of that love to him, wherever he is, in hopes that it will fuel even the most impossible dreams. Mitsuki always seems to make the impossible real for Albert.]
...You know, months ago you told me that men of your profession at home aren't really allowed to date. Men of my station were expected to form unions based on connections and social advancement, for the most part.
Things would be so different, if he had known. He can imagine it so easily, even if he doesn’t want to.]
I wouldn’t have given you a second chance. It would’ve been easier to cut you out.
[Which… He wouldn’t have gone through that heartache. He wouldn’t have been so upset, wouldn’t have felt so betrayed. Though he would have also have missed so many things that brought him joy.
Is it worth it? He’s still not sure, but he wants to say yes. He’ll have to see where things go.
He blinks at that mention, before nodding slowly. It’s not the first time he’s thought about how things would have been impossible between them if Albert was a man he had met back home.]
This is the only place we could have had each other…
[He knows how lucky he is, that Mitsuki could see past his history and see the man he wants to be. The man he is now. He knows.]
And... I know it couldn't have been an easy decision, to still trust me. To let me try again.
[Smiling faintly, almost embarrassed, Albert looks down at his hands. He rests them in his lap for a moment.]
Being away from home... It must be so difficult when you have a precious life to return to. You have your career, your fans, IDOLiSH7... I would give anything to see you working, you know. Flourishing under bright lights, with your brilliance and your charisma. [The smile brightens.] Your way with words.
[And then it wavers a bit.] I'm glad that I've brought you some measure of happiness, though I am not so vain as to think I hold a candle to any of that.
It wasn't. I'm not even sure now that it's a good one!
[He laughs, though, bright eyed and smiling. Maybe in time he'll regret this, but... The only life worth living is the one you live in the moment. For now, he wants Albert in his life. He wants to see who Albert will become.
And he can only do that, only wants that, if he's at Albert's side.]
...It would be nice, if you could come back to Japan with me.
[He wants Albert to see his home - briefly, he entertains the idea of introducing Albert to his family. He honestly has no idea how his parents would react to him bringing home a man, but he thinks they would accept him, and he also thinks Albert would win them over.
It... Would be nice, he thinks, to have a life with Albert outside of Noctium, even if he knows it would be difficult if not downright impossible to have that and be an idol.]
I don't know if that's possible. I don't want to think about it, either - having you right now is enough, and we can worry about everything else if it ever comes to pass. I want to be happy, now. I want to enjoy our love, now.
[He reaches for Albert's hands, leaning in close.]
You make me happy in a way being an idol never could. They're not a comparable sort of happiness at all.
[Albert's smile shifts to something a little brighter again at that assertion, though the part of him that thinks Mitsuki deserves better than a killer is hard to bite back. He breathes deeply for a moment, eyes fixed on Mitsuki's, his chest aching.]
Be mine, until then.
[Until something inevitably takes this happiness away from one or both of them. They've weathered the truth being revealed. The rest is up to fate.
Albert looks at him with all the devoted affection he has in his heart, their hands joined. Things that are impossible elsewhere are possible here.]
I'm quite serious. I know it... it may be complicated as things stand, but consider this me announcing my intentions.
[Pulling his hands away as if suddenly remembering something, he offers a little glance to Mitsuki before focusing on slipping off a ring. It's a familiar one, or at least it should be to Mitsuki, considering Albert does wear it with relative frequency. He bought it not long after arriving, when he was padding out his wardrobe with things that more suited the place, very shortly before he met Mitsuki. It has a green stone, with a recessed etching of a star.]
Take this. [A little huff of breath, like a weight has been lifted off him.] I was wearing it the day we met. Do whatever you want with it, but keep it. Consider it a solemn oath, that I will love you until the end.
[Now is not the time for the self-deprecation, Albert.]
Okay.
[There's more he could say, more he wants to say, and usually he would just say what he's thinking. Moderation be damned, he cares about Albert and he wants Albert to never be able to doubt that.
It seems more important that ever, to get his feelings across in a way that can't be misinterpreted, but he holds his tongue as he watches Albert slip his ring off. He's familiar with it by now - he's seen Albert wear it countless times, but he's still surprised by the offer.
He takes the ring carefully, turning it over in his hands for a moment. He doesn't even bother trying to slip it on, because he knows it'll be far too large for him, a thought that gets him to snort.]
I'll have to get a chain for this. I'll keep it close to my heart.
[Another pause, as he mulls things over. He feels so much lighter, so much happier now, with everything that's been dragging him down finally letting him free. There's no more furrow between his brows, even if this hasn't made the dark circles under his eyes go away, and he doesn't bother trying to school his smile into something more serious.]
...Heh.
[He remembers when Albert gave him the license for Fonte Chocolat, the way people in the cafe congratulated them on what they assumed was a proposal, getting annoyed and flustered and saying they weren't getting married yet. And now here he is, knowing the truth about Albert, and with a ring that's a promise.
He doesn't know how his life has ended up like this, or how they've gotten to this point. He's sure Albert remembers as well, even if he hasn't placed that's why Mitsuki starts giggling.]
[Mitsuki starts laughing, and Albert looks at him in fond confusion. He'd remember it if he wasn't so dead set on making things right, if he wasn't so absolutely convinced that this could go to hell at any given moment. An exacting man, a man of principles and ideals, a man who knows he's flawed and can hardly stand it... Albert doesn't know if he'll be able to hold Mitsuki forever, as he'd like to. But he'll try anyway.
He can't help reaching out, pulling Mitsuki into his arms and tugging him close even as the younger man laughs. It makes Albert's shoulders shake, too, and he joins in Mitsuki's contagious mirth even as he wants to rip his own heart out for not being able to be more.]
[Give him a moment to stop giggling, as he nestles into Albert's side.]
I was thinking about when you gave me the license, and I said we weren't getting married yet. But now I've ended up with a promise ring, and everything is just...
[He waves a hand, as if that'll encapsulate everything they've been through over the past month. All of the anger, grief, loneliness... It all was so much but now they're here, in this room, and Mitsuki has realized Albert will always have a place in his heart.]
[This is warm and right and he missed it so much he could scream. Mitsuki is his again, though maybe he never stopped being his... and Albert is so grateful for that miracle.
He wraps both arms around Mitsuki, ducking his head toward him and kissing wherever he can, slowly, methodically, full of love.]
It is so often funny how things work out, when they do.
[He smiles wistfully.]
Should I selfishly ask for more, even at a time like this? Stay the night with me.
[If he stops to think about it, it’s strange how comfortable he is with Albert touching, kissing him again. He was so hurt, so upset, but all of that seems to melt away with every brush of Albert’s lips.]
You’re allowed some selfishness, I think.
[As if he wants to leave right now, after how long it took to get to this point…]
[That's surprising to hear, considering it's Albert who feels wholly in the wrong here. He's been selfish... that's what caused all of this, in his opinion.
But somehow Mitsuki doesn't hold his own monstrosity against him, and he could not be more grateful for such mercy.
His eyes light up, and he tips Mitsuki's chin so their gazes meet.]
May I hold you? I... I feel like I've practically been in mourning, I missed you so.
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no subject
There was never a good time to tell you the truth, and I didn't want you to despise me. I didn't set out to win your heart. But the every time you laughed, or smiled, or scolded me... I felt lighter. I felt human.
[He smiles, painfully and gently, the bond between them overflowing with sentiment that holds steady, true as Albert's faith in Mitsuki.]
I'm so glad I fell for you, and that you found it in yourself to allow me to court you. To know that someone as remarkable as you can love someone like me, and... to know that you have seen me at my best, me being the man I wish to be and not the one whose hand was forced... And God knows I do plan to love you until the very end.
[If Albert somehow leaves this place, he will leave Mitsuki knowing he was treasured above all else. And should Mitsuki leave, he'll send every bit of that love to him, wherever he is, in hopes that it will fuel even the most impossible dreams. Mitsuki always seems to make the impossible real for Albert.]
...You know, months ago you told me that men of your profession at home aren't really allowed to date. Men of my station were expected to form unions based on connections and social advancement, for the most part.
no subject
[He pauses for a moment.
Things would be so different, if he had known. He can imagine it so easily, even if he doesn’t want to.]
I wouldn’t have given you a second chance. It would’ve been easier to cut you out.
[Which… He wouldn’t have gone through that heartache. He wouldn’t have been so upset, wouldn’t have felt so betrayed. Though he would have also have missed so many things that brought him joy.
Is it worth it? He’s still not sure, but he wants to say yes. He’ll have to see where things go.
He blinks at that mention, before nodding slowly. It’s not the first time he’s thought about how things would have been impossible between them if Albert was a man he had met back home.]
This is the only place we could have had each other…
[…]
It makes being away from home not so bad.
no subject
[He knows how lucky he is, that Mitsuki could see past his history and see the man he wants to be. The man he is now. He knows.]
And... I know it couldn't have been an easy decision, to still trust me. To let me try again.
[Smiling faintly, almost embarrassed, Albert looks down at his hands. He rests them in his lap for a moment.]
Being away from home... It must be so difficult when you have a precious life to return to. You have your career, your fans, IDOLiSH7... I would give anything to see you working, you know. Flourishing under bright lights, with your brilliance and your charisma. [The smile brightens.] Your way with words.
[And then it wavers a bit.] I'm glad that I've brought you some measure of happiness, though I am not so vain as to think I hold a candle to any of that.
no subject
[He laughs, though, bright eyed and smiling. Maybe in time he'll regret this, but... The only life worth living is the one you live in the moment. For now, he wants Albert in his life. He wants to see who Albert will become.
And he can only do that, only wants that, if he's at Albert's side.]
...It would be nice, if you could come back to Japan with me.
[He wants Albert to see his home - briefly, he entertains the idea of introducing Albert to his family. He honestly has no idea how his parents would react to him bringing home a man, but he thinks they would accept him, and he also thinks Albert would win them over.
It... Would be nice, he thinks, to have a life with Albert outside of Noctium, even if he knows it would be difficult if not downright impossible to have that and be an idol.]
I don't know if that's possible. I don't want to think about it, either - having you right now is enough, and we can worry about everything else if it ever comes to pass. I want to be happy, now. I want to enjoy our love, now.
[He reaches for Albert's hands, leaning in close.]
You make me happy in a way being an idol never could. They're not a comparable sort of happiness at all.
no subject
Be mine, until then.
[Until something inevitably takes this happiness away from one or both of them. They've weathered the truth being revealed. The rest is up to fate.
Albert looks at him with all the devoted affection he has in his heart, their hands joined. Things that are impossible elsewhere are possible here.]
I'm quite serious. I know it... it may be complicated as things stand, but consider this me announcing my intentions.
[Pulling his hands away as if suddenly remembering something, he offers a little glance to Mitsuki before focusing on slipping off a ring. It's a familiar one, or at least it should be to Mitsuki, considering Albert does wear it with relative frequency. He bought it not long after arriving, when he was padding out his wardrobe with things that more suited the place, very shortly before he met Mitsuki. It has a green stone, with a recessed etching of a star.]
Take this. [A little huff of breath, like a weight has been lifted off him.] I was wearing it the day we met. Do whatever you want with it, but keep it. Consider it a solemn oath, that I will love you until the end.
no subject
Okay.
[There's more he could say, more he wants to say, and usually he would just say what he's thinking. Moderation be damned, he cares about Albert and he wants Albert to never be able to doubt that.
It seems more important that ever, to get his feelings across in a way that can't be misinterpreted, but he holds his tongue as he watches Albert slip his ring off. He's familiar with it by now - he's seen Albert wear it countless times, but he's still surprised by the offer.
He takes the ring carefully, turning it over in his hands for a moment. He doesn't even bother trying to slip it on, because he knows it'll be far too large for him, a thought that gets him to snort.]
I'll have to get a chain for this. I'll keep it close to my heart.
[Another pause, as he mulls things over. He feels so much lighter, so much happier now, with everything that's been dragging him down finally letting him free. There's no more furrow between his brows, even if this hasn't made the dark circles under his eyes go away, and he doesn't bother trying to school his smile into something more serious.]
...Heh.
[He remembers when Albert gave him the license for Fonte Chocolat, the way people in the cafe congratulated them on what they assumed was a proposal, getting annoyed and flustered and saying they weren't getting married yet. And now here he is, knowing the truth about Albert, and with a ring that's a promise.
He doesn't know how his life has ended up like this, or how they've gotten to this point. He's sure Albert remembers as well, even if he hasn't placed that's why Mitsuki starts giggling.]
no subject
He can't help reaching out, pulling Mitsuki into his arms and tugging him close even as the younger man laughs. It makes Albert's shoulders shake, too, and he joins in Mitsuki's contagious mirth even as he wants to rip his own heart out for not being able to be more.]
I love you.
no subject
[Give him a moment to stop giggling, as he nestles into Albert's side.]
I was thinking about when you gave me the license, and I said we weren't getting married yet. But now I've ended up with a promise ring, and everything is just...
[He waves a hand, as if that'll encapsulate everything they've been through over the past month. All of the anger, grief, loneliness... It all was so much but now they're here, in this room, and Mitsuki has realized Albert will always have a place in his heart.]
I just love you too, y'know?
no subject
He wraps both arms around Mitsuki, ducking his head toward him and kissing wherever he can, slowly, methodically, full of love.]
It is so often funny how things work out, when they do.
[He smiles wistfully.]
Should I selfishly ask for more, even at a time like this? Stay the night with me.
no subject
You’re allowed some selfishness, I think.
[As if he wants to leave right now, after how long it took to get to this point…]
I want to stay.
no subject
But somehow Mitsuki doesn't hold his own monstrosity against him, and he could not be more grateful for such mercy.
His eyes light up, and he tips Mitsuki's chin so their gazes meet.]
May I hold you? I... I feel like I've practically been in mourning, I missed you so.