codenamem | IC Inbox for noctiumrp

[He hates being admonished for defending himself the way he always has, but their bond is a unique one, and he would rather be as honest with Ignis as he can be. Even if the man knows next to nothing of the truth, he's sure he suspects there's more going on.

So Albert closes his eyes for a moment, letting the press of Ignis in front of him and the counter behind him center him. When he opens his eyes again, his gaze is dull, tired. Honest.]

Stay with me. Please.

[ albert is right. ignis might not be privy to his secrets, but he knows that there's more going on with him than he's let on. however, ignis is in no hurry to pry those secrets from him -- not when he isn't ready. after all, there are still other things they have yet to discover and learn about each other, and ignis looks forward to further deepening their unique bond.

he softens when albert finally discards that lovely veneer of aristocratic manners, when he finally shows him his true state of mind, and he cups his cheek briefly. he sees him as he is, and he accepts him. ]

I will stay with you tonight.

[ he murmurs gently, then shifts away to give him space. ]

I'll make the tea and serve the pudding. Go and take a seat.

[Albert absolutely hates being vulnerable, but he's learning that it's okay with some people, or in fact necessary. There will be times when he'll resist, he knows, but not when he's being looked at like that with those beautiful eyes and a hand on his cheek.

Ignis shifts away, but Albert follows, pulling him close again for a brief, gentle kiss to the corner of his lips. If Ignis gets to assert himself, so does Albert. That's how their dance works. He murmurs against his skin.]

Thank you, Ignis.

[A breath. He's being cared for, waited on like Louis would when he had a hard time of things, and it only makes things ache more. But he'll dutifully go and sit at the small dining table to wait. Pulling the jacket around himself more tightly and zipping it, he watches Ignis work.]

You really are the most handsome man I've ever seen.

[ oh -- he likes that. ignis can't help but smile when albert pulls him close, clearly asserting himself in turn even as he allows ignis to boss him around and mind him. it's lovely, how albert discreetly, sweetly reminds him that he's doing this because he wants to, that their dance has always been between equals.

he smiles at that praise, before he prepares two cups of tea and one yorkshire pudding, collecting the cutlery with him on a tray. he sets it down delicately before him, removing the items from the tray to serve, before he settles in a seat adjacent to him. ]

And you are the most charming man I've ever met. I fear I may be spoiled by your praise.

[That Albert can revere and admire him while also being equals is something terribly special to him. The fact that he's found someone he can be that comfortable with is in itself a comfort.

His whole body is turned toward Ignis, full attention on him in a most undignified manner, so that he actually has to move the chair slightly when the food is set before him.]

It's so easy to praise you, though. [He thinks it'll be a cold day in hell before he sees a fault or a flaw in this man. Watery-eyed, he looks down at the pastry.]

I can't believe you remembered me talking about this. No, I... can believe it, because you're you, but I still think I might be dreaming.

[A glance up.]

I hope you know I'll be paying this back in kind, when I can. Somehow.

There's nothing to repay. I wanted to be here with you.

[ ignis tells him simply, because as their bond progressed in the past few weeks, ignis has increasingly stopped considering it as a transaction, or a resource. he is coming to genuinely care about albert beyond their incredibly chemistry and compatibility.

he reaches out now, gently tipping albert's face to his before he leans in to press a kiss on those soft, soft lips. ignis doesn't miss how his eyes are watery, nor the fact that he's clearly going through something, but he wants albert to know that he's here for him. ]

I know that this can never replace your brothers, but please know that you deserve to be cared for. And you deserve to be happy.

[It may not be able give and take or reciprocity anymore, but Albert finds this gesture enormous and won't let it slide by easily. His heart aches right now, equally because he's being faced with the food, and because Ignis is uncommonly good to him in ways he doesn't deserve. Again. As usual. As he always is.]

You can't go to the trouble of cooking me something from home and not accept something back in kind. I'll insist, even if all you let me do is buy you a fine bottle of wine.

[For some reason he is just... staring at the pastry instead of eating it, so the kiss is a welcome reprieve. The kiss lingers on Albert's part, chasing after Ignis ever so slightly when they part.

The words are like a dagger Ignis can't know he threw.]

...Thank you.

[He doesn't deserve happiness. None of the happiness he's taken selfishly here has been deserved. What borrowed time is he living on? When will he get the punishment he so dearly earned?

He picks up the fork and knife with hands that minutely shake. Maybe if he eats this, he can hold things together.

No. He has to hold it together. He can't tell anyone. He'll talk to Moran in the morning to absolve himself and start the cycle again.]

It goes with all kinds of meals. Usually you serve it with a meat or onion sauce, but I'd eat Louis' right out of the pan when I could.

[ something's not quite right about albert's reaction -- as if something ignis has said has struck him deeply, and not in a good way. but tonight isn't the night to open up wounds further, not when albert seems brittle underneath that gracious composure. ]

Then come on a date with me, when you feel better.

[ he says quietly. that could be a reward which fulfils two functions: it gets him out of his apartment, and ignis gets to spend time with him; the latter of which ignis has discovered he has been craving of late. he takes a sip of his tea as he listens to what albert shares, with half a mind to make both sauces for him the next time around.

he can't help but smile at that mental image of albert eating right from the pan, and he muses, happy to do his part to take albert's mind off darker thoughts. ]

Does Louis let you?

With pleasure. It's about time we did something... a bit more official. Isn't it?

[The thought of going out on a date with Ignis is distracting enough that Albert can shake off the way he's dwelling on the rest. He doesn't know. Of course he doesn't. Maybe he never will. It's better that way. No matter what. If his esteem fell in Ignis' eyes, he'd lose a precious bond that motivates him here, and he isn't ready to consider that inevitability.

A faint smile comes to his lips as he cuts a small piece of the pastry off.]

He did. [Past tense. Always past tense.] We didn't live together, my brothers and I. But when we'd visit each other, we'd do such things. I still remember the first time Louis made this, with--with the butler's help. He was so determined... [A bite, and it fairly melts in his mouth, savory, only a touch sweet, absolutely close enough to the real thing to make Albert close his eyes as he chews and swallows.] You really are a genius in the kitchen.

[His eyes are still a little watery, but he turns them on Ignis.] If I ever let you get away, I'm a fool.

I suppose it is.

[ he admits with a small smile, pleased that albert looks like he's enjoying what he's made. he nurses the tea, fragrant and warm and so much like albert that his hands come to curl around the delicate teacup. their first evening together out and about had been incredibly enjoyable, and their parting after that evening had left ignis desiring even more.

still, ignis blinks, surprised at the end of it, after albert shares precious insight into his beloved family. he meets his eyes then, gently teasing. ]

I see the way to your heart is through my pudding.

I'm glad you agree.

[He's been enamored with him since that first torrid night, even if it was foolish of him. Once they spent time talking and bantering, uselessly discussing world affairs and their places in the cosmos, he was hooked. He's wanted to make Ignis even a little his, impractical as it is in a place that wants everyone to bond with everyone else.

Still, if he can have that sliver of him, he'll be the happiest man in the city.

He cuts another small piece of the pastry, offering it to Ignis from his fork with a little lean over in his direction.]

You won my heart well before today. This just proved my instincts right.

[ the fascination is mutual -- ignis is equally enamored, charmed by him and just a little bit in love. albert makes him feel like a teenager again, makes him remember what the nascent flutterings of romance feels like.

consequently, ignis is no stranger to the powerful desire to claim at least a little bit of albert for himself, too. in a place like this, that ought to be enough. his own heart skips a beat at the implications of his words, and he leans forward to take a bite off his fork, slow and almost-sensuous. he meets his gaze steadily, warm and tender, but there is a heat and intensity behind it, too.

his hand coming to curl deliberately around his wrist, he says quietly, plainly. ]

My heart is yours, if you will have it. I know it's impossible to be exclusive in this city, but please know -- I, too, would be a fool to let you go.

[He feels something warm and safe coming from his bond with Ignis, and he can feel his cheeks heating up at the shared intensity of emotion. This wasn't what he expected when they met, when they slept together, even when Ignis came over tonight. He didn't expect to wonder if this is what love feels like when it comes later in life. It doesn't burn him passionately. No, it makes him feel safe, held tightly in kindred arms, and he watches Ignis carefully as he speaks.

It aches in all the right ways. He would never dream of keeping someone like Ignis all to himself anyway, and he'd never feel secure enough to be tied down, but to have a sliver...]

I would be honored. [No, that's too formal.] Call me a fool, but I've fallen for you so hard it makes my chest ache.

[He looks into those eyes with all the affection he can muster. This is a difficult confession. He has to speak carefully, so as not to alarm, but sincerely and plainly, so Ignis knows it's not ill-intentioned.]

I know you know I'm hiding something. Someday, when I'm safe, I'll tell you the truth about me. Everything. About why I'm so... the way I am. If you still have room in your heart for me then...

Tell me something, Albert.

[ perhaps if they are younger, reckless and more brash, ignis would promise him that unconditionally. but they are not children, and love is not a fairytale. ignis might have fallen hard for him, he might crave him, want him beyond the exhilarating rigour of passionate sex -- but he knows that albert deserves better than empty promises.

in the face of that quiet, wrenching confession, ignis remains unflinching. albert might have terrible secrets, but he can already sense just how it twists him up inside. he releases his wrist, not breaking his gaze. ]

Who you really are -- did you have a choice?

[If they were young and foolish, Albert would be headstrong and reject all of this. He'd be too wrapped up in making the world a better place, would push everything and everyone away for the cause. It's age that gives him perspective.

And he knows there are no guarantees. He doesn't want them. He wants honest feelings, even if they tear him apart.

Albert doesn't look away as Ignis releases him.]

A choice? [His eyes dull.] I did. It was my fault, entirely. I chose the life I led, for better or for worse.

[A smile, bittersweet.] What a terrible evening I've given myself. I'm sorry, Ignis. It's nothing that will ever impact you, nor will it be relevant here. I can assure you of that.

[ there is something deeper and more profound going on, and even with albert's response, he knows that there are things albert isn't telling him. but he knows, too, that albert is burdened and haunted by them. that albert squarely takes the blame makes his heart ache.

they must be terrible things. but ignis sympathises; he is no stranger to terrible things and hard choices. he understands that sometimes they must be done, for the betterment of everything else. ignis regards him for a long moment, then gestures for him to continue eating. he stays close, choosing his words with care. ]

You can tell me about it when you're ready, if only to have its weight lifted off your shoulders. I would be a fool to let you go, wouldn't I?

[He hopes it's Ignis he tells, and that this place doesn't force his hand in some strange way. If anyone will accept that he can change, he swears it's this man. It had all seemed right at the time, and perhaps it was the only way. But stepping away from it and trying something else is quickly proving to him that he doesn't have to go that far again.

He doesn't eat yet, though.]

I will. [It's as good as an oath.] When I'm stronger, I'll tell you. [And somehow... he doesn't think it will shock Ignis much.] Thank you. I do mean that, sincerely. You've lightened my burden considerably just by being here.

Look at you, standing on ceremony again.

[ ignis gently chides, smiling nonetheless. there is so much he has yet to learn about albert, so much to uncover, but this is a good start. there is so much more to him that he lets on, the brittle, fragile nature of his vulnerability underneath the layers of smooth composure and that sharp intelligence is incredibly compelling.

he reaches out to cup his cheek, inviting him to lean in as he regards him with quiet warmth. ]

Allow me to tend to you tonight.

I can't help it.

[At least that admonition results in Albert laughing faintly, genuinely, the tension in him breaking like a wave.

Ignis is everything he could ask for in a confidant, and he's grateful to have met him. Whatever strange fate brought them together, he'll thank, and hope it doesn't see fit to tear them apart.

Turning his head, he presses a kiss to Ignis' palm. His eyes close, and his lips linger there, until the last bits of tension ebb slowly away, breath after breath. His touch is soothing. Then Albert looks back to him, meeting his gaze.]

I'm finishing this Yorkshire pudding first.

[The smile he offers is a little fragile, but broad and sincere. And for once, it reaches his eyes.]

[ he feels the soft press of that lips to his palm, warm and so much like rose petals, and his breath catches. how frustrating, that even the smallest things albert does can take his breath away. he lets him settle, lets the tension bleed out and he finds that he can't look away from those beautiful jewel-green eyes.

his thumb smooths over his cheekbone now, admiring the lightness of his smile, how it reaches his eyes now instead of engineered to be placidly polite. how beautiful he is, just like this. ]

I'll bring you onion gravy next time.

[ he murmurs, before he pulls away and gives him space to eat. ]

[Albert's whole body warms at the mere thought of this food being even better, and while that is a wholly embarrassing thought, he embraces it anyway. With real enthusiasm seeping in, he takes another bite of the pastry, once again cutting a second bite after to offer to Ignis. Something about eating with him, just sitting like this, is making all the distress seem absolutely ridiculous.

He had to have been right when they first met. His first impression was wholly accurate. This man may be the best man he's met in so, so long. And the more he pushes himself out of his comfort zone with Ignis, the freer he feels. Between bites, he smiles, and at each bite he closes his eyes indulgently, savoring it completely.]

What should we do with the evening? If you're taking care of me, well... I can see you're already formulating a plan, so go on and tell me.

Let me run you a warm bath, and we'll go from there.

[ from his experience, warm baths go a long, long way towards resting and relaxation. he takes what's offered, leaning into the easy intimacy of eating off a new lover's fork. there is anticipation, a thrill and gentle delight in his company. when they finally finish the pudding, ignis reaches out to slowly, deliberately pull down the zipper of what he's wearing, a gleam of mischief in his eyes. ]

May I trouble you to wash the dishes, in the meantime?

A bath sounds lovely.

[Albert is quieter than usual as he finishes the pudding, but once he's done and he can turn all his attention to Ignis, he's all warmth and clever affection again. It may be that he's a little bruised, but it doesn't change how fond he is of Ignis, and how much he wants to show that fondness endlessly.]

Of course. It's only proper, when you've been so thoughtful.

[Ah, there he goes again, being proper. He catches himself and laughs faintly.]

Will you be joining me in the bath?

You're learning. Good.

[ it's playful praise, and ignis is heartened to see that he at least has a spark of himself back. rising from his seat, he captures albert's chin to give him a soft kiss, his eyes lidded briefly. ]

That depends on how firmly you ask me.

Firmly?

[He raises a hand to stroke his lover's cheek, fingers trailing along the edges of Ignis' hair. His voice drops, gentle and adoring.]

What if I ask you softly? If I look into those beautiful eyes and tell you that I'd like to wrap you up in my arms for the rest of the night?

[A smirk. He has to follow it up with a firm addition, of course.]

You will join me. I'll make it worth your while.

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