[It’s… Strange. It’s so, so strange and a part of Mitsuki hates it.
But… Hopefully it’ll all be worth it in the end.]
Yeah, that works just fine. I’ll see you then.
[And when Albert gets to the cafe, Mitsuki is already there. He has a cup of tea, but he hasn’t had as much of a sip or ordered anything for Albert. He… Wasn’t sure he would appreciate it.
Mitsuki looks absolutely dreadful, like he’s just been running himself ragged. His hair is messier than usual despite his attempts to tame it, there are dark bags under his eyes, and he just… Looks as miserable as he’s been feeling.]
[Albert comes in, still in a fine suit and emerald tie. He's not sure what to expect, but he certainly didn't think Mitsuki would look like... that. That run ragged. The heart he thought he'd be able to ignore breaks anew when he sees this and knows, absolutely in the depths of his soul knows it's his fault.
He did this. To his sunshine, his bright, brilliant, beautiful Mitsuki, who has never hurt anyone or had an ill thought that wasn't wholly deserved, the most exuberant and delightful person in his life.
This... Albert caused this. For the rest of his time here, this will haunt him. Even here, he hasn't stopped being a monster, because only a wretched thing would make Mitsuki look so distressed.
He steels himself as he finally steps beyond the doorway and makes his way to the table. He doesn't order a drink because his nerves are about to send him off the damnable planet itself, and he takes a seat politely across from Mitsuki. The cafe isn't crowded right now, but Albert knows they'll have the be incredibly cautious about what's said.]
[He’s been here since he sent those texts to Albert - he had too much restless energy, and he had to get out of the house, get some space to breathe.
His tea is cold by now, but he finally takes a sip of it. He needs to do something with his hands, and distract himself from looking at Albert. Looking at him just… He was expecting it to hurt, but seeing him just makes him think of all the good times they’ve had. It reminds him of how he fell in love with Albert, and… He wasn’t expecting that.
He puts the cup down, taking a breath to steady himself.]
I don’t really know where to start, but… I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about everything, and first off I don’t think what you did was okay. But…
[He fiddles with the cup some more, looking down at his hands.]
[Albert's eyes are dull and full of his own pain, the remorse he feels for hurting the man who has made him happier than anything.
How badly he wants to reach out and hold his hand across the table again. Or to brush that unruly hair into pristine place with strong, careful strokes. He wants to hold Mitsuki in his arms again, to kiss him, to shower him with gifts and praise and love, endless, deep, abiding love that he realizes upon looking at him this close has not died. He's never stopped loving him, even if he forced himself to accept that things were over. A second chance isn't ever what he deserves. But gods, how he wants one. How he wants this man to love him again, if only a little.]
Change is a long and difficult process, and I know that. I do. And I understand you having reservations. What I did... was horrible. I will be the first to say that it was.
[He doesn't want to sound defensive, but he wants Mitsuki to know the truth.]
I never enjoyed it. I wanted it to end as badly as I wanted it to change things. I wanted... [He looks down at his hands, threading his own fingers together.] ...I wanted to die, now and then. To be suitably repaid for what I'd sown.
[These are words he didn't want to give him before, and now they tumble out in desperation. There's the briefest of pauses, then he sighs.]
I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry that this has hurt you so. I would rather die a thousand times than make you so distressed. But I am not the man I was in London. That man... The me who did such things... was desperate and dark. When I met you... [He looks at Mitsuki again.] ...I saw hope. The smallest glimmer of it. Hope that bloomed for me into something greater than the darkness that consumed me before. I will be grateful unto eternity for the joy you brought to my life. For making me believe I'd never have to do that again. I am so dreadfully disturbed by having dimmed that light merely by existing. Truly, I am sorry.
[Mitsuki looks up, watching Albert as he speaks, and... He straightens his shoulders. Takes another breath to steady himself, before he nods.
He doesn't know how things are going to be, from here on out, but... He believes Albert. He believes him completely, feels like he's telling him the absolute truth, and... And he wants to see him smile again. He wants to see him happy, again, wants to see Albert with a spark in his eyes and that confident, easy smile he always seemed to have for Mitsuki. It's all he really wants right now, sitting across the table for him, feeling like he's miles away from the man he loves.
He keeps his chin up, doing his best to look Albert in the eyes, and squares his shoulder.]
Apology accepted.
[Is it as simple as that? Not really, no. Mitsuki knows an apology doesn't make up for what Albert's done, but...
He wants Albert to live. Selfishly, he wants him to, and seeing him so broken... He can't ignore it any longer, and he reaches out across the table with his palm up. An offering, if Albert will take it.]
This doesn't fix everything, and I'm not sure where things are going to go from here, but [he misses him, he loves him, he forgives him] I'm willing to see where things take us.
[Albert blinks rapidly at Mitsuki's acceptance. His eyes look a bit less dull, and he almost looks hopeful for a moment before he schools the expression.
But then Mitsuki puts his hand out, and every last bit of resolve Albert had in him crumbles. He tries to be dignified as he puts his hand in Mitsuki's, letting this distressed, distracted man be his foundation once again. It's unfair, and he knows it. It's unfair for him to pin so much of his happiness on Mitsuki. He hopes someday he'll learn to grasp more of it on his own, so as not to burden him. But as he feels that familiar warmth and softness against his hand for the first time in a month, his shoulders tremble, then shake with a silent sob as he lowers his head and covers his eyes.
He refuses to cry openly, and he fights and fights it until his body stops shaking, until he can stop gripping Mitsuki's hand so tightly, as though he's afraid he'll disappear. His fingers and thumb dig into his temples as his tightly closed eyes force back the urge to cry.
When all that's left is the lump in his throat, he looks up at Mitsuki, eyes shining with gratitude, a soft but genuine smile on his face.]
Thank you. [For yet another chance that he doesn't deserve. Yet he'll never take it for granted.]
I love you. I've never stopped. I love you with everything I am, with every fiber of my being. If there are to be no secrets...
[His smile twists apologetically.]
I only ask that you allow me to put the maudlin things behind me. You don't need to hear things that hurt you, not anymore, never again. But I can tell you the greater things... my career, my actual work... my few precious comrades... Please. I'll tell you everything, Mitsuki. My sunshine.
[He squeezes Albert's hand as he trembles, and he wants nothing more than to get up and cross the table to wrap his arms around him. He resists the urge for now, because he has a feeling it might just make Albert breakdown even further, and he's not sure his heart can handle that.
So he waits for the shaking to stop, watching Albert quietly, patiently. He wants to be an anchor, something Albert can tether himself to to keep him from drifting away in his emotions, and he hopes desperately that he can manage that.]
If you want to continue this conversation, we should probably go somewhere more private.
[They should go somewhere where they can express themselves more freely, without prying eyes and curious ears, because Mitsuki isn't sure how much longer he can keep his composure.]
[Is it too soon to want to hold him? To want to be beside him all night?]
...would you like to go to a hotel?
[He suggests neutral territory first, just in case.]
We don't have to stay the night, but it's private, and comfortable. I'm... I don't expect things to mend immediately. I know I have to earn your trust and your love again.
[He stands, walking over closer to Mitsuki and urging him gently to stand.]
Given the chance, I'll do things properly. I'll do whatever it takes to win your heart back.
He stands, looking up at Albert. He doesn’t know how close he should stand - how close is too close? What’s too much? Does any of that even matter when all he wants is for Albert to hold him close and never let go?
Well. He can wait. He doesn’t want to, but he can.]
Lead the way, Albert. Wherever you want to go.
[He bites his lip, looking down at their hands and reaching out again and threading their fingers together.]
You already got my heart once, I think you could do it again.
[At that, at the unexpected threading of fingers, Albert's half uncertain smile turns radiant, if soft.
He's going to get him back.]
I'll do my utmost. You deserve only my best.
[And before he can stop himself, he presses a kiss to Mitsuki's forehead.
Heading out, he leads the way to a hotel somewhat nearby, fancy enough that Albert looks beautifully suited to the decor and the mood, but not so extravagant that they'll feel bad for not staying. It takes a few minutes to get there, and Albert makes little conversation, simply enjoying keeping Mitsuki's hand in his for the first time in what feels like an eternity. He can't hold it while they check in, but he takes it again soon after.
On the way to the elevator, his hand finds Mitsuki's again, almost as though he's afraid to let go.]
[He’s not expecting the kiss, and he flushes. Giddy warmth crosses their bond, Mitsuki unable to hide the way he feels in this moment.
Not that he wants to - he wants to be as open with Albert as he wants Albert to be with him, so the least he can do is let his feelings come across in Synchrony.
He’s quiet as they walk, but he stays close, even through the process of checking in.]
[The Synchrony has dulled over the month, and Albert aches for the intensity he always felt. It's slowly coming back, and feeling Mitsuki's happiness instead of the horrific dull ache he's felt all month is beautiful.
They step into the elevator and Albert turns to Mitsuki.]
I know. And I'm going to pay the faith you have in me back a hundred times over. You didn't have to ever speak to me again, but you chose to. You... you came back to me. And I will love you with all the passion and fierce devotion you've deserved. The only thing that stopped me was... this. The lie by omission.
[If he isn't the one being charmed all over again, instead of charming Mitsuki... Albert smiles again, soft, meeting Mitsuki's eyes. He covers the hand he holds with both of his own, and makes a quiet vow to himself to never look away from this man again.]
I don't deserve it, but I will treasure that love. I'll make this world better the right way.
[His smile turns a little sad, and he looks like he's about to say something else, but the door dings and opens. Down the hall they go to their room, then, though Albert keeps Mitsuki close. He opens the door, ushers Mitsuki in, and locks it behind them, and in true Albert fashion it isn't the most basic room in the place, either. They'll be comfortable no matter where they sit, and they'll have precious privacy... and a nice view.
Once the door is locked, he makes his way back over to Mitsuki and moves to finally embrace him properly. It's not suggestive in the slightest, nor is it casual at all. It's the hold of a man who knows he's almost lost what he held dearest.]
I'm the one who doesn't know where to begin this time. I thought I'd lost you forever. Nothing I could possibly say would express how I feel right now. You saved me, Mitsuki. I've said that for so long. I've meant it in every way.
[Well, that is how this whole thing started, isn't it?]
...I don't think that love is something that you have to "deserve". It's something that happens, that you feel, and you can't control it. You can try to deny it, and I really did, but... No amount of pretending or anger or betrayal could change those feelings. But it's not because you deserve it or not. It's because I've seen the kind of man you can be, and... I know you can be that man completely.
[Mitsuki clings to him, not giving a damn about the room or the view or anything else but the man in front of him. He doesn't want to let him go - that's the whole reason he reached out again. He wants Albert back in his life.]
I only gave you the means to save yourself. I really didn't do that much...
[He won't let go of him, and he's holding Mitsuki tighter than he's ever held anyone. This is still sinking in, that Mitsuki didn't give up on him. He obviously came so close to losing him for good.
And he knows those things about love all too well. When he says he doesn't deserve it, he means he deserves worse things more, really.]
You never should have had to feel those things. I should have never pursued my own feelings so recklessly. But... that being done, and you having decided, I'll work every day to be a man worthy of your trust and care.
[Sighing, Albert runs a hand up into Mitsuki's hair.]
[He wasn’t expecting to feel so comfortable around Albert - he was expecting that it would be awkward. That he’d not want to be touched by him, or held by him, and while there is still a bit of wariness there… He’s mostly just happy to be in his arms.]
[Albert wouldn't blame him if he was cautious or tense, awkward or distant. He earned that reaction from Mitsuki. Instead... he gets this wondrous brightness, and god help him, a laugh. It's enough to make him want to cry again, though he resists when he sees the smile linger for a fraction of a second after the laugh. His own relief finds its way out in an echoed laugh of his own.]
My goodness. I've given you leave to make demands and you're already demanding that I not work too hard? It's far too late for that. Oh, but you mean in this.
[He strokes Mitsuki's hair gently.]
A shame that I cannot honor that request. I'll work myself to the bone for you, and be thoroughly content while doing so. You are my liege, and I am but your humble servant.
[He's done killing people. He swore it off the day he met Mitsuki, and it is in fact slightly related to that very meeting. In a roundabout way, all the things that happened in Albert's first few days on the surface convinced him that this was a second chance, a fresh start, a place where he could live honestly and earnestly. There was an element of naive optimism in that conclusion, of course, but he couldn't help but see that optimism grow as he met more people, and learned to love differently than he ever had before.
Dragging light fingertips along Mitsuki's cheek, looking at him with all the wonder he had the first time they kissed, he sees him anew, commits every curve to memory again, more devotedly and sweeter than even before.]
Shall I talk, tonight? Though I would hear what you have to say, too, even if it hurts me, or casts me in an unfavorable light. Your heart and mind are precious and important to me. More than that, selfishly... I fear that if I don't know precisely how you feel, I'll continue to nurse this horrible heaviness in my heart, and a peculiar knot between my shoulder blades.
[Mitsuki, is it clear yet that you've fallen in love with a man who's as masochistic as he is anything else? The time he's had to brood on his failings as a man, and as a lover and partner, has worn him thin. It's clear up close, though he's taken to hiding it in various ways. There are dark circles under his eyes, too, and he does seem almost to have aged more than usual in the span of a month.]
[He leans into the touch, letting out a tremulous breath. Albert... He does everything with his all, doesn't he? It's a feeling Mitsuki understands whole heartedly. What's the point of being alive if you can't live life to the fullest, if you can't chase after your hopes and dreams and see them to fruition because you've given the world everything you can?
It worries him, in some ways, but in other ways he understands. In other ways he knows he would do anything for Albert. He wants to make this work. He wants Albert to be happy, he wants to see those soft, genuine smiles again, he wants... What they had before, but he knows that there's a new life ahead of them.
That... Doesn't mean that life will be bad, though. It'll be better for them, he thinks, with the shadows of Albert's past no longer a mystery. He's not sure he will ever understand all the things Albert has done, but maybe he doesn't have to. Maybe he should just focus on the man Albert is now and the man he will become.
His gaze falls to Albert's chest as he contemplates what he wants to say, before he lifts his chin and meets Albert's eyes. A small, sad smile crosses his face.]
Please. Talk to me. Tell me everything you want to say.
[He reaches for Albert's other hand, wanting even more contact, and when he speaks next his voice is soft. Softer than he's probably ever heard Mitsuki, who's always so bright and exuberant.]
[When his other hand is taken, Albert's heart leaps again. He knows he should be cautious, not throw everything he is and everything he feels out into the open. But this is Mitsuki. This man has never been anything but himself with Albert, genuine and true, honest, pure, and vibrant. He has more right than anyone to the truth about Albert.
But still, he has to take a moment to look Mitsuki over again, again, again... Searing everything about him into his heart and soul after a month without. He remembers how their hands fit together. Just what angle he has to tip his head to get Mitsuki's attention. This was almost lost to him...]
I love you. [He says it breathlessly, softly, ardently and adamantly.] I would turn this world on its head to keep you safe. Know that, to begin with. The rest...
[It's so hard to know where to begin.]
...My God, I've no idea where to start. [He laughs faintly, then guides Mitsuki over to the plush sofa in the room. Once they're comfortable, with Mitsuki's hand in his, he looks up to the ceiling as though it will tell him what he needs to know.] It's funny... I don't know if you'll find any of this palatable to hear. Apparently some people think having a past full of intrigue and danger is exciting, and some people are more sensible. I will say, though, that other than my brothers, only you and Ignis know any of this about me. I... told some of it to another dear friend, but she's since left here.
[And with that... His free hand combs through Mitsuki's hair, gently rearranging it and smoothing it down in turns.]
I began life as a noble, of course, and my position in the House of Lords was hereditary, by virtue of being the eldest Moriarty son. This much is common knowledge and factually correct.
[He smiles faintly at him, apologetic but sincere.]
William and Louis... are adopted, actually. I met them when I was a young man and they were charges at an orphanage I frequently visited for charitable causes. Through a series of circumstances, it came to be just the three of us against a world we found bitter and shameful. We trained under an elite retired soldier as teenagers and attended Eton College, and when I came of age, I joined Her Majesty's military, as required of me.
[He lets Albert speak, leaning into his side and looking at their joined hands. He's not quite sure what to make of all of this, but he thinks he understands it well enough.
Albert wants to change the world. He's seen the way Albert works, the way he's trying so hard to navigate the political climes of Noctium, and it seems that's always been something he's wanted to do. In a way, it explains a lot. It doesn't excuse the measures he's taken, but...
Does having good intentions override everything he's done? The lives he's taken? Do corrupt people deserve to die?
Mitsuki doesn't think he has the right to decide that, but... The world he comes from, the world he's familiar with, it all seems so frivolous compared to Albert's.
He won't press about his brothers - there's more there, but everything is complicated enough, and he doesn't want to pour salt in the wounds. So, instead, he goes for the topic that seems... Maybe a little bit safer.]
So you went straight into the military?
[The fact it was expected of him... It gets Mitsuki to frown, as he can't imagine doing something like that. It must have been awful.]
More or less. Considering there were only the three of us young men, there were complications when it came to our inheritance. Most first sons did serve the Empire, and I wasn't any exception. I served in the military until... Well, I would say a year or so before I came here? I had a slight change of profession after being noticed...
[Oh, how in the hell does he explain Mycroft? Maybe he can come back to that. After all, his relationship with Mycroft grew deep and rather tangled in certain ways, ways that become more relevant later in his timeline. This is somehow just the beginning, in Albert's mind. It's when William's plans began to truly pan out.]
While I was an ordinary officer, I discovered and dismantled an opium operation, you see. It had some ties to high ranking officers and officials, so I suppose both to shut me up and to utilize my talents, I was transferred from the military into Her Majesty's more direct service.
[He laughs faintly. There's distinct fondness when he speaks again, nostalgia and a hint of sadness.]
If you remember Colonel Moran, formerly of my world and a short visitor in this one... The man technically outranked me. It did drive him crazy to take orders from me thereafter, as it turned out, but he was a good man and a fine shot.
[There’s a lot to unpack here. He wasn’t expecting Albert’s life to be so… Much.
He turns to look up at Albert, raising an eyebrow.]
Are you saying you were a spy?
[…Are all people born into royalty and nobility like this?
He presses his lips together, brows furrowing. It… Is kind of cool, he has to admit, but he also imagines it’s not as glamorous as it is in the movies.]
[Albert smiles, then laughs faintly at the reaction.]
I was. And then I became the unofficial head of MI-6, upon discovering some rather nasty secrets about the French Revolution and certain royal involvement. Yes, technically it was blackmail... But I saved lives in doing it, so I have no regrets.
[Even if only Bond's life was directly saved, the many underclass people Albert knows suffered less because of their actions outweighed blackmailing the very Queen. It was never an eye for an eye. It was all machinations and plotting to degrees even Albert often simply left to the genius of the family. He could hold his own in business and war, and he knows people like few can, but William to this day knows systems more intimately. The balance of talents is why the Lord of Crime worked.
Thoughtfully, he strokes Mitsuki's hair again, then smooths a fingertip over his furrowed brow.]
I wonder if I ought to regret other things, however. I think... I accepted very early on that we had to go to extremes to get extreme results. Though dear William and Louis will insist otherwise, our deeds were something I started, and something I saw through with all the gravity and seriousness it deserved. I never took joy in our crusade. To be frank, I thought I would die before we created the revolution that was needed. I'm told, however... [He shifts uncomfortably.] That it is my brother, William, who may have instead died. I remanded myself to the custody and mercy of Her Majesty's guard and was locked up quite soundly for my crimes. So I am told. Nothing is without consequence, and I knew this from the first step I took. I saw the mercy of this world bringing you and I together as a sign that I should continue to use my skills to help others, but in a way that harmed no one, if I could avoid it. A second chance, if you will.
[With a genuine, soft smile, he looks into Mitsuki's eyes.]
The man who did those things isn't the man who now loves you, with all of his heart. My crimes weigh on my conscience, and they torment me, but my heart and soul were saved by you.
[Are things going to get less wild at any point in all of this? Being a spy, leading MI6, blackmailing the Crown… It’s all so much…
It’s almost unbelievable, but with the way he speaks he had a hard time not believing him.
Still…]
So if you go back, you’re going to end up imprisoned and your brother might die…
[He can’t imagine how heavy that knowledge must weigh on Albert. He knows that if he was told that in his future, Iori would be killed… It would break him, he thinks.]
I hope you stay.
[He squeezes his hand gently.
He laughs weakly, shaking his head.]
You keep saying I’ve saved you, but I really haven’t done anything special. I think you’ve saved yourself.
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But… Hopefully it’ll all be worth it in the end.]
Yeah, that works just fine. I’ll see you then.
[And when Albert gets to the cafe, Mitsuki is already there. He has a cup of tea, but he hasn’t had as much of a sip or ordered anything for Albert. He… Wasn’t sure he would appreciate it.
Mitsuki looks absolutely dreadful, like he’s just been running himself ragged. His hair is messier than usual despite his attempts to tame it, there are dark bags under his eyes, and he just… Looks as miserable as he’s been feeling.]
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He did this. To his sunshine, his bright, brilliant, beautiful Mitsuki, who has never hurt anyone or had an ill thought that wasn't wholly deserved, the most exuberant and delightful person in his life.
This... Albert caused this. For the rest of his time here, this will haunt him. Even here, he hasn't stopped being a monster, because only a wretched thing would make Mitsuki look so distressed.
He steels himself as he finally steps beyond the doorway and makes his way to the table. He doesn't order a drink because his nerves are about to send him off the damnable planet itself, and he takes a seat politely across from Mitsuki. The cafe isn't crowded right now, but Albert knows they'll have the be incredibly cautious about what's said.]
Good evening. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.
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[He’s been here since he sent those texts to Albert - he had too much restless energy, and he had to get out of the house, get some space to breathe.
His tea is cold by now, but he finally takes a sip of it. He needs to do something with his hands, and distract himself from looking at Albert. Looking at him just… He was expecting it to hurt, but seeing him just makes him think of all the good times they’ve had. It reminds him of how he fell in love with Albert, and… He wasn’t expecting that.
He puts the cup down, taking a breath to steady himself.]
I don’t really know where to start, but… I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about everything, and first off I don’t think what you did was okay. But…
[He fiddles with the cup some more, looking down at his hands.]
I really want to believe that you’ve changed.
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How badly he wants to reach out and hold his hand across the table again. Or to brush that unruly hair into pristine place with strong, careful strokes. He wants to hold Mitsuki in his arms again, to kiss him, to shower him with gifts and praise and love, endless, deep, abiding love that he realizes upon looking at him this close has not died. He's never stopped loving him, even if he forced himself to accept that things were over. A second chance isn't ever what he deserves. But gods, how he wants one. How he wants this man to love him again, if only a little.]
Change is a long and difficult process, and I know that. I do. And I understand you having reservations. What I did... was horrible. I will be the first to say that it was.
[He doesn't want to sound defensive, but he wants Mitsuki to know the truth.]
I never enjoyed it. I wanted it to end as badly as I wanted it to change things. I wanted... [He looks down at his hands, threading his own fingers together.] ...I wanted to die, now and then. To be suitably repaid for what I'd sown.
[These are words he didn't want to give him before, and now they tumble out in desperation. There's the briefest of pauses, then he sighs.]
I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry that this has hurt you so. I would rather die a thousand times than make you so distressed. But I am not the man I was in London. That man... The me who did such things... was desperate and dark. When I met you... [He looks at Mitsuki again.] ...I saw hope. The smallest glimmer of it. Hope that bloomed for me into something greater than the darkness that consumed me before. I will be grateful unto eternity for the joy you brought to my life. For making me believe I'd never have to do that again. I am so dreadfully disturbed by having dimmed that light merely by existing. Truly, I am sorry.
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He doesn't know how things are going to be, from here on out, but... He believes Albert. He believes him completely, feels like he's telling him the absolute truth, and... And he wants to see him smile again. He wants to see him happy, again, wants to see Albert with a spark in his eyes and that confident, easy smile he always seemed to have for Mitsuki. It's all he really wants right now, sitting across the table for him, feeling like he's miles away from the man he loves.
He keeps his chin up, doing his best to look Albert in the eyes, and squares his shoulder.]
Apology accepted.
[Is it as simple as that? Not really, no. Mitsuki knows an apology doesn't make up for what Albert's done, but...
He wants Albert to live. Selfishly, he wants him to, and seeing him so broken... He can't ignore it any longer, and he reaches out across the table with his palm up. An offering, if Albert will take it.]
This doesn't fix everything, and I'm not sure where things are going to go from here, but [he misses him, he loves him, he forgives him] I'm willing to see where things take us.
[A pause.]
But no more secrets.
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But then Mitsuki puts his hand out, and every last bit of resolve Albert had in him crumbles. He tries to be dignified as he puts his hand in Mitsuki's, letting this distressed, distracted man be his foundation once again. It's unfair, and he knows it. It's unfair for him to pin so much of his happiness on Mitsuki. He hopes someday he'll learn to grasp more of it on his own, so as not to burden him. But as he feels that familiar warmth and softness against his hand for the first time in a month, his shoulders tremble, then shake with a silent sob as he lowers his head and covers his eyes.
He refuses to cry openly, and he fights and fights it until his body stops shaking, until he can stop gripping Mitsuki's hand so tightly, as though he's afraid he'll disappear. His fingers and thumb dig into his temples as his tightly closed eyes force back the urge to cry.
When all that's left is the lump in his throat, he looks up at Mitsuki, eyes shining with gratitude, a soft but genuine smile on his face.]
Thank you. [For yet another chance that he doesn't deserve. Yet he'll never take it for granted.]
I love you. I've never stopped. I love you with everything I am, with every fiber of my being. If there are to be no secrets...
[His smile twists apologetically.]
I only ask that you allow me to put the maudlin things behind me. You don't need to hear things that hurt you, not anymore, never again. But I can tell you the greater things... my career, my actual work... my few precious comrades... Please. I'll tell you everything, Mitsuki. My sunshine.
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So he waits for the shaking to stop, watching Albert quietly, patiently. He wants to be an anchor, something Albert can tether himself to to keep him from drifting away in his emotions, and he hopes desperately that he can manage that.]
Okay. Okay, I can do that.
[He smiles softly, hesitantly, feeling suddenly shy.]
If you want to continue this conversation, we should probably go somewhere more private.
[They should go somewhere where they can express themselves more freely, without prying eyes and curious ears, because Mitsuki isn't sure how much longer he can keep his composure.]
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[He squeezes Mitsuki's hand softly this time.]
I would love nothing more. Would you...
[Is it too soon to want to hold him? To want to be beside him all night?]
...would you like to go to a hotel?
[He suggests neutral territory first, just in case.]
We don't have to stay the night, but it's private, and comfortable. I'm... I don't expect things to mend immediately. I know I have to earn your trust and your love again.
[He stands, walking over closer to Mitsuki and urging him gently to stand.]
Given the chance, I'll do things properly. I'll do whatever it takes to win your heart back.
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[No brothers or friends to get nosy at a hotel.
He stands, looking up at Albert. He doesn’t know how close he should stand - how close is too close? What’s too much? Does any of that even matter when all he wants is for Albert to hold him close and never let go?
Well. He can wait. He doesn’t want to, but he can.]
Lead the way, Albert. Wherever you want to go.
[He bites his lip, looking down at their hands and reaching out again and threading their fingers together.]
You already got my heart once, I think you could do it again.
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He's going to get him back.]
I'll do my utmost. You deserve only my best.
[And before he can stop himself, he presses a kiss to Mitsuki's forehead.
Heading out, he leads the way to a hotel somewhat nearby, fancy enough that Albert looks beautifully suited to the decor and the mood, but not so extravagant that they'll feel bad for not staying. It takes a few minutes to get there, and Albert makes little conversation, simply enjoying keeping Mitsuki's hand in his for the first time in what feels like an eternity. He can't hold it while they check in, but he takes it again soon after.
On the way to the elevator, his hand finds Mitsuki's again, almost as though he's afraid to let go.]
Thank you for coming with me.
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Not that he wants to - he wants to be as open with Albert as he wants Albert to be with him, so the least he can do is let his feelings come across in Synchrony.
He’s quiet as they walk, but he stays close, even through the process of checking in.]
I am the one who asked to talk, you know.
[He bumps his shoulder against Albert.]
I wanted to see you again.
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They step into the elevator and Albert turns to Mitsuki.]
I know. And I'm going to pay the faith you have in me back a hundred times over. You didn't have to ever speak to me again, but you chose to. You... you came back to me. And I will love you with all the passion and fierce devotion you've deserved. The only thing that stopped me was... this. The lie by omission.
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He lifts Albert’s hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.]
I want to understand why you’ve done the things you’ve done, and I…
[He huffs.]
I love you, even after all of this.
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I don't deserve it, but I will treasure that love. I'll make this world better the right way.
[His smile turns a little sad, and he looks like he's about to say something else, but the door dings and opens. Down the hall they go to their room, then, though Albert keeps Mitsuki close. He opens the door, ushers Mitsuki in, and locks it behind them, and in true Albert fashion it isn't the most basic room in the place, either. They'll be comfortable no matter where they sit, and they'll have precious privacy... and a nice view.
Once the door is locked, he makes his way back over to Mitsuki and moves to finally embrace him properly. It's not suggestive in the slightest, nor is it casual at all. It's the hold of a man who knows he's almost lost what he held dearest.]
I'm the one who doesn't know where to begin this time. I thought I'd lost you forever. Nothing I could possibly say would express how I feel right now. You saved me, Mitsuki. I've said that for so long. I've meant it in every way.
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...I don't think that love is something that you have to "deserve". It's something that happens, that you feel, and you can't control it. You can try to deny it, and I really did, but... No amount of pretending or anger or betrayal could change those feelings. But it's not because you deserve it or not. It's because I've seen the kind of man you can be, and... I know you can be that man completely.
[Mitsuki clings to him, not giving a damn about the room or the view or anything else but the man in front of him. He doesn't want to let him go - that's the whole reason he reached out again. He wants Albert back in his life.]
I only gave you the means to save yourself. I really didn't do that much...
[And he almost ruined everything.]
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And he knows those things about love all too well. When he says he doesn't deserve it, he means he deserves worse things more, really.]
You never should have had to feel those things. I should have never pursued my own feelings so recklessly. But... that being done, and you having decided, I'll work every day to be a man worthy of your trust and care.
[Sighing, Albert runs a hand up into Mitsuki's hair.]
I've been numb without you. Lost.
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Don’t work yourself too hard, okay?
[He laughs, as if he’s told a great joke.]
I’m here for you, and just… Talk to me.
[And also don’t kill people. Please.]
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My goodness. I've given you leave to make demands and you're already demanding that I not work too hard? It's far too late for that. Oh, but you mean in this.
[He strokes Mitsuki's hair gently.]
A shame that I cannot honor that request. I'll work myself to the bone for you, and be thoroughly content while doing so. You are my liege, and I am but your humble servant.
[He's done killing people. He swore it off the day he met Mitsuki, and it is in fact slightly related to that very meeting. In a roundabout way, all the things that happened in Albert's first few days on the surface convinced him that this was a second chance, a fresh start, a place where he could live honestly and earnestly. There was an element of naive optimism in that conclusion, of course, but he couldn't help but see that optimism grow as he met more people, and learned to love differently than he ever had before.
Dragging light fingertips along Mitsuki's cheek, looking at him with all the wonder he had the first time they kissed, he sees him anew, commits every curve to memory again, more devotedly and sweeter than even before.]
Shall I talk, tonight? Though I would hear what you have to say, too, even if it hurts me, or casts me in an unfavorable light. Your heart and mind are precious and important to me. More than that, selfishly... I fear that if I don't know precisely how you feel, I'll continue to nurse this horrible heaviness in my heart, and a peculiar knot between my shoulder blades.
[Mitsuki, is it clear yet that you've fallen in love with a man who's as masochistic as he is anything else? The time he's had to brood on his failings as a man, and as a lover and partner, has worn him thin. It's clear up close, though he's taken to hiding it in various ways. There are dark circles under his eyes, too, and he does seem almost to have aged more than usual in the span of a month.]
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It worries him, in some ways, but in other ways he understands. In other ways he knows he would do anything for Albert. He wants to make this work. He wants Albert to be happy, he wants to see those soft, genuine smiles again, he wants... What they had before, but he knows that there's a new life ahead of them.
That... Doesn't mean that life will be bad, though. It'll be better for them, he thinks, with the shadows of Albert's past no longer a mystery. He's not sure he will ever understand all the things Albert has done, but maybe he doesn't have to. Maybe he should just focus on the man Albert is now and the man he will become.
His gaze falls to Albert's chest as he contemplates what he wants to say, before he lifts his chin and meets Albert's eyes. A small, sad smile crosses his face.]
Please. Talk to me. Tell me everything you want to say.
[He reaches for Albert's other hand, wanting even more contact, and when he speaks next his voice is soft. Softer than he's probably ever heard Mitsuki, who's always so bright and exuberant.]
I love you.
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But still, he has to take a moment to look Mitsuki over again, again, again... Searing everything about him into his heart and soul after a month without. He remembers how their hands fit together. Just what angle he has to tip his head to get Mitsuki's attention. This was almost lost to him...]
I love you. [He says it breathlessly, softly, ardently and adamantly.] I would turn this world on its head to keep you safe. Know that, to begin with. The rest...
[It's so hard to know where to begin.]
...My God, I've no idea where to start. [He laughs faintly, then guides Mitsuki over to the plush sofa in the room. Once they're comfortable, with Mitsuki's hand in his, he looks up to the ceiling as though it will tell him what he needs to know.] It's funny... I don't know if you'll find any of this palatable to hear. Apparently some people think having a past full of intrigue and danger is exciting, and some people are more sensible. I will say, though, that other than my brothers, only you and Ignis know any of this about me. I... told some of it to another dear friend, but she's since left here.
[And with that... His free hand combs through Mitsuki's hair, gently rearranging it and smoothing it down in turns.]
I began life as a noble, of course, and my position in the House of Lords was hereditary, by virtue of being the eldest Moriarty son. This much is common knowledge and factually correct.
[He smiles faintly at him, apologetic but sincere.]
William and Louis... are adopted, actually. I met them when I was a young man and they were charges at an orphanage I frequently visited for charitable causes. Through a series of circumstances, it came to be just the three of us against a world we found bitter and shameful. We trained under an elite retired soldier as teenagers and attended Eton College, and when I came of age, I joined Her Majesty's military, as required of me.
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Albert wants to change the world. He's seen the way Albert works, the way he's trying so hard to navigate the political climes of Noctium, and it seems that's always been something he's wanted to do. In a way, it explains a lot. It doesn't excuse the measures he's taken, but...
Does having good intentions override everything he's done? The lives he's taken? Do corrupt people deserve to die?
Mitsuki doesn't think he has the right to decide that, but... The world he comes from, the world he's familiar with, it all seems so frivolous compared to Albert's.
He won't press about his brothers - there's more there, but everything is complicated enough, and he doesn't want to pour salt in the wounds. So, instead, he goes for the topic that seems... Maybe a little bit safer.]
So you went straight into the military?
[The fact it was expected of him... It gets Mitsuki to frown, as he can't imagine doing something like that. It must have been awful.]
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More or less. Considering there were only the three of us young men, there were complications when it came to our inheritance. Most first sons did serve the Empire, and I wasn't any exception. I served in the military until... Well, I would say a year or so before I came here? I had a slight change of profession after being noticed...
[Oh, how in the hell does he explain Mycroft? Maybe he can come back to that. After all, his relationship with Mycroft grew deep and rather tangled in certain ways, ways that become more relevant later in his timeline. This is somehow just the beginning, in Albert's mind. It's when William's plans began to truly pan out.]
While I was an ordinary officer, I discovered and dismantled an opium operation, you see. It had some ties to high ranking officers and officials, so I suppose both to shut me up and to utilize my talents, I was transferred from the military into Her Majesty's more direct service.
[He laughs faintly. There's distinct fondness when he speaks again, nostalgia and a hint of sadness.]
If you remember Colonel Moran, formerly of my world and a short visitor in this one... The man technically outranked me. It did drive him crazy to take orders from me thereafter, as it turned out, but he was a good man and a fine shot.
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Wait.
[There’s a lot to unpack here. He wasn’t expecting Albert’s life to be so… Much.
He turns to look up at Albert, raising an eyebrow.]
Are you saying you were a spy?
[…Are all people born into royalty and nobility like this?
He presses his lips together, brows furrowing. It… Is kind of cool, he has to admit, but he also imagines it’s not as glamorous as it is in the movies.]
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I was. And then I became the unofficial head of MI-6, upon discovering some rather nasty secrets about the French Revolution and certain royal involvement. Yes, technically it was blackmail... But I saved lives in doing it, so I have no regrets.
[Even if only Bond's life was directly saved, the many underclass people Albert knows suffered less because of their actions outweighed blackmailing the very Queen. It was never an eye for an eye. It was all machinations and plotting to degrees even Albert often simply left to the genius of the family. He could hold his own in business and war, and he knows people like few can, but William to this day knows systems more intimately. The balance of talents is why the Lord of Crime worked.
Thoughtfully, he strokes Mitsuki's hair again, then smooths a fingertip over his furrowed brow.]
I wonder if I ought to regret other things, however. I think... I accepted very early on that we had to go to extremes to get extreme results. Though dear William and Louis will insist otherwise, our deeds were something I started, and something I saw through with all the gravity and seriousness it deserved. I never took joy in our crusade. To be frank, I thought I would die before we created the revolution that was needed. I'm told, however... [He shifts uncomfortably.] That it is my brother, William, who may have instead died. I remanded myself to the custody and mercy of Her Majesty's guard and was locked up quite soundly for my crimes. So I am told. Nothing is without consequence, and I knew this from the first step I took. I saw the mercy of this world bringing you and I together as a sign that I should continue to use my skills to help others, but in a way that harmed no one, if I could avoid it. A second chance, if you will.
[With a genuine, soft smile, he looks into Mitsuki's eyes.]
The man who did those things isn't the man who now loves you, with all of his heart. My crimes weigh on my conscience, and they torment me, but my heart and soul were saved by you.
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It’s almost unbelievable, but with the way he speaks he had a hard time not believing him.
Still…]
So if you go back, you’re going to end up imprisoned and your brother might die…
[He can’t imagine how heavy that knowledge must weigh on Albert. He knows that if he was told that in his future, Iori would be killed… It would break him, he thinks.]
I hope you stay.
[He squeezes his hand gently.
He laughs weakly, shaking his head.]
You keep saying I’ve saved you, but I really haven’t done anything special. I think you’ve saved yourself.
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